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star-girl69 · 1 year ago

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Let Me Love You Like A Woman

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

synopsis: you and clarisse broke up two months ago, and when you’re selected to go on a mission together, clarisse just wants you to let her love you.

a/n: i feel feelings about this one….. anyways i hope you all enjoy!!

Let Me Love You Like A Woman - Lana Del Rey

******i want to make this clear: there is absolutely NO smut in this fic. terms like “fuck buddies” and “friends with benefits” are used but only bc i cant think of anything else lmao. all they do is makeout and it is suggestive at times but there is NO SMUT

warnings: this is so bad tbh, what is clarisse doing, she’s so confused my little ladybug, y/n my other ladybug is confused too, OH MY GOD THERES ONLY ONE BED, swearing, hate make out sessions but the hate is one sided, kissing obvi!, deep talks about our feelings which is hard for clarisse, angst, mentions of death blood and monsters, lovesick!! slightly desperate!!! clarisse my cutesy little ladybug, exes/enemies w benefits so like mentions of sex and such, very suggestive lol, as an actual server the restaurant scene hurt me to write lol, but for the plot, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

The Big House is the one place in camp you’re really unfamiliar with. It’s not like you haven’t been there before, it’s just you don’t go there that often.

And unknown places scare you.

There’s hiding places you don’t know about, blind spots you aren’t aware of- corners and small secrets and rules that you haven’t learned yet.

You make your way up the steps and through the porch, the familiar part- you pass by the infirmary and the random office no one uses- until you make it to the connected gondola Chiron and Mr. D. spend most of their time at.

You’re about to turn and enter when a familiar figure appears in front of you.

It hurts to think about how you’ll always know it’s her.

She seems just as shocked to see you but covers it up quickly.

“Y/N,” she smirks, looking you up and down.

You stop, go to turn around and march off in the other direction when you remember you can’t.

Clarisse La Rue doesn’t deserve the dirt under your feet, even though she would probably eat it if you asked- charmspeak used or not.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, and she frowns. You never really called her by her name when you dated, and you know it bothers her now to hear you say it.

That’s exactly why you do it, of course, but the part of you that knows everything about her and will always love her squeezes at the sight of her poorly-hidden sad face.

She’s been slipping up lately. It warms your heart to know that’s because of you.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, genuinely curious.

As a cabin leader, it’s not unusual for Clarisse to be here. But she knows you’re scared of the unknown, and she knows it’s just not in your routine to come here.

“Dunno,” you shrug. “Got called here.”

Her eyes light up. “How funny, so did I.”

You roll your eyes, fighting against the parts of your body that want to run towards her and the parts that want to run away. Instead, you listen to your brain and feel her staring at you as you turn the corner into the gondola.

“Y/N, Clarisse,” Chiron greets with a pleasant smile, setting down a hand of cards face-down. You almost laugh at Mr. D’s disappointed look- Chiron isn’t the trainer of demigods for no reason.

“Yeah, yeah, welcome,” Mr D says, seeming entirely uninterested. You both stand there slightly awkwardly.

Chiron is known to be blunt, so he of course jumps right in.

“We have a mission for the two of you.”

“The two of us? Like, just the two of us?”

The words come out before you can stop them, fingers twisting together and mouth slamming shut. You’re fine, you try to tell yourself, even though your mind and body agree on one thing- being too close to Clarisse will just lead you right back to her.

Clarisse tries to hide her hopeful smile, but you see through it. You loved her for so long, of course you see through it.

“Uh… yes,” Chiron says. You clench your fists.

Mr D seems interested now, especially after your outburst.

“Oh,” he laughs. “I see.” He gestures between the two of you, “there’s bad blood.”

Chiron presses his lips together.

“Nothing that doesn’t make us capable of going on this mission,” Clarisse says, taking a step forward. She smiles at you, but doesn’t make a move to touch you. At least she knows some limits, even if they don’t matter now.

“Well,” Chiron continues, seeming to regret his decision but deciding it’s too late. “Y/N. Your charmspeak, I feel, will be extremely important to this mission. And, Clarisse, daughter of Ares- your skills in battle are nothing to scoff at. There is an item I require the retrieval of. A friend left it in a P.o. box in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The journey is not particularly perilous, but being a demigod carries an affinity for danger.”

You nod, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I trust the two of you will be able to put aside your… ‘bad blood’ and complete your mission?”

Maybe this mission will be good for you. It certainly nowhere near the kleos of a quest, but more so gives you bonus points with Chiron. That could be helpful.

Clarisse looks at you.

“Oh, yes. Don’t worry.”

—-

“Y/N.”

You walk away from Clarisse pointedly, hoping she’ll take the hint.

You’ve decided you’ll do this quest. If you ever did want to be a cabin leader in the future- you either had to be well liked or the best. As a daughter of Aphrodite, you were already well liked- conversation and flattery came as easy to you as breathing.

Even before you learned how to use your charmspeak, you could sweet talk almost anyone into doing whatever you wanted. You really needed an A on that test? A few tears and some master manipulation- suddenly that A was yours.

But, Chiron needed to like you too.

You do this quest for him- which he choose you for- and then you earn even more of his respect.

It was such a simple exchange. It could be such a simple exchange, except if the girl hot on your heels wasn’t your partner.

She finally manages to grab your wrist and whip you back around so you’re facing her.

She smiles.

“I’ll always catch you, you know. No use in running, really.”

“At least I’ll go down fighting,” you say, looking anywhere but her eyes like portals that suck you in. She’s so close to you.

If this was the before you would wrap your arms around her neck and hers would go to your waist. Even if you were mad at her, she would press her body close to yours and kiss the corner of your lips- Clarisse made it her life’s mission to know every inch of you, and she succeeded. She would know the exact way to calm you down and get you to look at her and hear her out.

And most of the time you were being dramatic, or simply joking, and then she would kiss you and it would all be fine again.

Except it’s not the before. It’s the after, and your heart hurts being so close to her.

“What do you want, Clarisse?” you sigh.

“I just wanted to talk to you.”

Your chest blazes. “Go talk to literally anyone else.”

Her face hardens.

“How many times do I have to tell you before you understand that you are the only person I care about?”

You rip your hand away from her grip.

“Shut up,” you hiss, turning and walking away.

“Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow at the gates,” you can feel her smile. “And then I’ll see you all on our mission, huh?”

“You’re crazy!”

—-

You walk into the Hermes cabin and fall face first onto your best friend Marley’s bed.

She looks up from her book and laughs.

“Oh, babe, what happened?” she asks, scratching the back of your scalp as you pull yourself up into your elbows and place your head in her lap.

“Mission,” you groan.

She stops. “A mission? For Chiron? Gods, Y/N that’s amazing-”

“With Clarisse.”

She takes her hand away from your scalp and moves to your chin, lifting you up.

As much as Clarisse hurt you and you hate her, Marley had always had a special sort of hatred for her. Even when you were happy and dating- you would tease her that maybe she’s actually a daughter of Ares, seeing how angry she was.

She was always overprotective, she insisted she just had a bad feeling about her- but eventually she stopped and you thought you could have it all.

“I’m sorry,” Marley laughs. “I don’t think I heard you right.”

You put your lips right up to her ear.

“MISSION WITH CLARISSE-”

“Y/N!” she yells and pushes you away, groaning as she holds her ear. “My ears are bleeding now, oh my Gods-”

“You’ll be fine,” you groan, settling back into her lap. “I’m the one who actually has to go with her.”

“Actually?” she whispers after a tense moment. “You actually have to go with her?”

“It’s fine,” you mumble.

“It’s not. Maybe I-I can talk to Chiron, or maybe I could come with you, huh?”

“No, thanks, Marls. It’s alright, really.”

She stares down at you, head tilted slightly to the side. Marley has always been exceptionally good at hiding her emotions. But you can tell she’s angry. She’s scared.

She’s your best friend and you will always love her in the most special way.

“I don’t want you to go,” she whispers.

The Hermes cabin is always a bustle of activity. But when you’re just here with Marley, it’s the two of you. It’s perfect. It’s what you’ve always wanted- selfishly- to feel special. You feel special with her eyes on you, your head in her lap. She’s your best friend.

You put your hand on her face.

“As much as I hate it, we both know Clarisse won’t let anything happen to me. I’ll be safe.”

“Yeah, but what if she does something to you?”

What if she does absolutely nothing and you fall in love with her all over again?

You always thought that all that stuff about feeling your heart physically break couldn’t be true- but you know it is. You felt it break and every time you look at Clarisse and it can’t be like it was before your heart breaks a little more.

Clarisse acted like you were some big secret that was a chore to hide, and then when you were in her arms she would call you the prettiest girl. It was like whiplash, feeling her touch so tenderly and then not even being allowed to look at her in public. And you wanted so badly to tell everyone that she was yours and you were hers- but she just couldn’t.

And you don’t care about the reason behind that, not after that one night, not after she told you she could never love you.

She doesn’t really want you. She acts like she does, but she only misses you on the surface. Sure, you miss her body, but you miss your late night talks and the way she was always there to protect you, the way she made you feel. You like the person you are with her.

She wants an idea of you, she wants you under her, she wants power and control.

You think maybe a part of her really does regret losing you that night. But, she laid it all out that night. What she feels doesn’t make up for what she said. She doesn’t love you because she’s insecure, because she’s self-serving and power hungry.

She makes you feel stupid waiting for her, but why would you wait for someone else when you could wait for her to come back? You don’t like the unknown, and Clarisse is the one thing you really know.

You look into Marley’s eyes now.

“It will be good for me,” you whisper. “I’ll earn Chiron’s respect.”

Marley kisses your cheek.

“I know. I just don’t want you to go, and I know that makes me selfish but- still.”

“I know, Marls. I know,” you whisper. But this will be good for you, and it’s already been done. You already accepted it.

Marley helps you pack and you watch her anger. You watch her roughness, you watch the fire in her eyes- and Gods, does it make you feel special to have a friend like her.

You only wish you could make Clarisse feel like that too.

—-

The bus ride is boring.

Clarisse, for some merciful reason, decides not to torture you and instead throw her dagger up and down.

But you’re bored.

You’ve been reading a book Marley lended you, something boring and wonderfully distracting about the history of the four wind gods- you think about the wind and not about the way Clarisse’s thigh is pressed up next to yours.

It’s only been two months.

As much as you hate it, you won’t even admit it to Marley, but you’ll admit it to yourself in the quietness of the back of the bus.

You close the book and stuff it into your backpack.

You miss her.

“I’m bored,” you announce before you can second guess yourself.

“Okay,” Clarisse hums, picking at a speck of hardened dirt on her dagger. “I know a lot of things we could do to remedy that.”

Your cheeks flush, but you hold your ground. “I’m not going to kiss you. One, it smells like shit back here and two, we’re not dating anymore.”

“True, but doesn’t that just make it more fun?”

“What?”

Her hand moves to your thigh and you let yourself sink into the before.

“We aren’t supposed to- your best-fuckin’-friend would skin me alive. But we both know you want to.”

“I don’t want my lips anywhere near you.”

She just smiles at you, and you suddenly realize you’ve been staring into her eyes this entire time.

She takes her hand off of you and turns away, and this part of you aches so badly for the before- but it’s after. But she doesn’t love you and she just wants you.

But you want her too. You want her so bad, and maybe if you just let yourself sink into her one more time then you can move on. One good goodbye and you’ll be fine.

“Take a nap, then,” she suggests. “We still have another hour before the next rest stop, I’ll wake you up.”

“Okay,” you mumble, a part of you loathing listening to her, but a nap sounds good.

—-

You sleep the best you ever have since you broke up.

Clarisse was always sneaking into your bed, or you into hers, and she was always so warm and made you feel so safe. You always slept with her. And while you could still fall asleep fine without her- it just wasn’t the same.

You wake up to the sound of the bus doors opening and people talking around you.

“Y/N,” Clarisse whispers. “Wake up.”

You realize your head is on her shoulder.

You push her away from you, she just laughs and stands up.

“So stubborn,” she mumbles, leaning down to dig into her bag for the money Chiron gave you.

You resist the urge to say something snarky back, instead choosing to squeeze past her and out into the aisle.

She’s following behind you in a second, her bag zipping up and getting thrown back under the seat.

She’s right up in your ear.

“I know you hate me,” she whispers. “But you can’t just go running off. What if there was a monster right outside the doors?”

The two of you step off of the bus, the bright sunshine making your squint.

You pull up your shirt and pat your hip where your dagger rests.

“I’d kill it.”

You both know you probably couldn’t.

She laughs. “Is that the dagger I gave you?”

Your face freezes but you keep walking into the rest stop.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you huff.

She sticks her fingers through the loop of your jeans and pulls you into an aisle filled with chips. You suddenly find a bag of Cheetos very interesting.

She looks at your face, into your eyes, and traces her fingers over the dagger’s handle.

“Hm, mine.”

You miss her so bad. You never knew it was possible to miss someone this much. You miss her body and her mind and her voice. You miss her hands and her lips and the way she made you feel.

You don’t pull away. How can you pull away?

It was easy to ignore her when she wasn’t right in front of you, but there’s this part of you that loves her and wants to believe her. Then there’s another part that wants to see her suffer like she did to you.

You push her off of you. “Don’t touch me.”

Again, she just smiles, and that’s really starting to piss you off.

—-

You’re somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania at a bus stop, waiting to cross the lonesome highway to the other side of the street where a train station awaits you.

“Are you okay?” Clarisse asks, and you realize she’s already stepped out onto the road and you’ve been staring off into nothing. You quickly follow her, half running across the road until you get to the sweet, sweet air conditioned station.

“Yeah, ‘m fine.”

In reality, you have to keep yourself distracted so you don’t fall back into her. You’ve decided it not about whether or not you love or want to hear her out- it’s about the way she kisses you and the way her skin feels against yours.

You can want her, here, where no one will know.

You’ll swear her to secrecy, and she’ll shut up just for the chance of more. And you don’t know if you’ll give it to her.

The station is oddly busy.

You have this horribly uneasy feeling.

You make your way into the line anyways, snatching the tickets from where they’re scrunched up in her hand, trying your best to flatten them again.

She laughs. You refuse to feel the way it makes your heart ache. You think about the other reasons she makes your heart ache.

You see something, shiny and black out of the corner of your eye. When you look over, the indented entrance to a janitor’s closet is marked in shadows.

But you trust yourself.

“I think I just saw something,” you whisper.

She still makes you feel safe. She’s one of the most talented warriors at camp and she loves you- even Marley admitted she won’t let anything happen to you.

She follows your gaze. And she doesn’t see anything.

“Okay,” she murmurs. She trusts you too. Her eyes flick between the shortening line and the shadows. “Maybe one more minute then we’re on the train.”

“Yeah,” you agree, slipping your hand into hers. You can hear her inhale sharply. She’s not phased by a potential monster, but you holding her hand makes her face flush.

Why is she so fucking confusing?

As far as you can tell, she just wants to be fuck buddies- so why is she blushing as you hold her hand?

She squeezes your hand, and Clarisse is right, you make it to the front of the line. The man checks your tickets and hole punches them, welcoming you back into the outdoors.

You look over your shoulder, and something shiny reflects in the sunlight, still in the shadows of the building.

“Clarisse.”

She seems to see it too.

“I can’t tell what it is,” you say.

She tugs you along. “I don’t want to find out.”

When you finally step foot onto the train you take your hand from Clarisse’s and look down at the tickets. Cabin 4A. It’s near the front, so you find it fairly quick- just a simple one room cabin.

You quickly barricade yourself inside, drawing the curtains and setting your stuff on the floor.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“That was tense,” you mutter. Clarisse holds her wrist. She nods, staring down at your feet before sighing.

Somehow, it’s six o’clock. You dig into your snacks, neither of you feeling like leaving the safety of the cabin to go to the dining cart.

The train car has two benches facing each other, overhead storage and a large window. There’s practically no room in between the two benches- the car is maybe 5 feet wide.

You miss Marley. You could always talk to her from across the pavilion during a meal- entire conversations with just your eyes. You miss your siblings, their conversation filling up the silence. Here, there’s nothing.

It’s so silent, and yet it’s that comfortable silence with Clarisse. It makes you miss the before.

That’s all you’ve been doing- missing things and wishing they were different.

The train starts and you stare out the window, the rolling hills and the trees and the small creek. You can feel Clarisse looking at you. You try your best to ignore the way her gaze makes you feel- but you’re alone in this cabin. There’s no one else here. There’s no one else to know if you give in one time.

Something slams against the door.

You breathe in and Clarisse grabs her spear.

“Should I open it?” you whisper, standing up. She sticks out her spear to stop you from moving forward.

The two of you listen, but nothing else happens.

It wasn’t a knock. It sounded sort of like a ball being kicked into the door.

“I’m opening it,” you decide, curiosity killing you, pushing Clarisse’s spear aside.

“Y/N,” she warns, but you’ve already slid open the door.

Absolutely nothing is there. You look out the adjacent windows, down the hallways lined with red carpet.

You shrug. “Nothing’s here-”

It’s cold and scaly when it lands on you.

The same black shiny thing you saw, it’s slithering around your neck, cutting off your air supply immediately. You can’t even scream you’re too scared, hands clawing at your neck but it squeezes and one of its heads rears up to attack your chest-

Clarisse’s spear sails right through its raised head.

It drops, you fall back, gasping, watching as she pins it under her boot and lifts the spear out of it. It’s wriggling and trying to break free- but she stabs it through its other head.

It’s an amphisbaena. A horrible, scaly black snake-sort of thing with a head on each end.

You rub your chest, swallowing a lump in your throat as Clarisse casually picks up the now dead monster and opens the adjacent emergency exit window in the hallway- throwing it out into the middle of nowhere.

She turns back around, frowning at the blood coating the ends of her spear-

You slam into her. You’re breathing so heavily, you still feel like it’s around your neck, but Clarisse carefully wraps her arms around your waist, letting you lean against her as your shaky hands massage your neck.

No one would know.

Her spear falls to the floor.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s dead,” she whispers, kicking the cabin door closed with her foot.

No one would know.

“Thank you,” you breathe. “Oh, Gods, thank you, Clarisse.”

“No problem,” she says.

No one would know.

“Clar,” you mumble. She stiffens at the nickname. She tenderly brings one hand up to your face, and she wants you just as much as you want her- that’s all this is about. An exchange. You’ll kiss her for the last time and you’ll finally get over her.

“I know,” she mumbles, she feels the burning in her stomach too. You’re connected by that in this one moment, your mutual desire and need. Except she has a need for a new beginning, and you have a need for an end.

It’s so simple.

You both can get what you want from this trip.

“I know,” she says again, her nose touching yours. Your breaths mix in the air. “I know, I miss you so much… so bad, Y/N, you don’t…”

“Show me,” you whisper against her lips, and she does.

You can feel it all, the regret you don’t care about, and the desire and want and need you do care about.

You need to feel more of that. You need to feel special, so when your back hits the the door and her hands are all over you, you tilt your head back and look up at the ceiling, mouth twisted into a moan.

You need her to make you feel special. You don’t feel special without her, without her rough hands and her soft lips. It’s the one trait from your mother that you somewhat despise- the innate need to be the center, to be the focus, to feel special. She’s the only one who has ever made you feel like this.

No one else will ever come close.

“I hate you,” you breathe. You can’t think, all your walls are down. “I hate you so much and I still…. I still…”

She kisses you again so you don’t have to say it.

—-

The bed is scratchy and uncomfortable, but there’s only one- and it’s so tiny you’re pressed right up against Clarisse. She doesn’t wrap her arm around you, even though you wish she would, if only because you’re cold.

Not because you’re still irrecoverably in love with her and you know she won’t. And even if she does, it won’t be in the way you want it.

How can she kiss you like she loves you yet claim she never will? How can one kiss make you so weak in the knees that you’re genuinely considering doing this for any scrap of her you can get?

You stare up the ceiling for a long time, until you come to that weird space where you’re so tired you can’t move and your eyes are closed, but you’re still awake.

She wraps her arm around your waist and kisses your temple.

—-

The next time she kisses you you’ve gotten used to this whole making out with no strings thing.

You’re about to get off the train, so you tidy your stuff and head to the dining cart for pretty pastries and bagels and some fruit. On your way back, maybe 15 minutes left in your ride, someone in a uniform sees two teenage girls heading alone into a room.

When he asks where your parents are, can he see your tickets, you panic and charmspeak him to forget he ever saw this and walk away.

“Close,” you laugh, and Clarisse mumbles some sort of noncommittal agreement before smashing her lips onto yours.

You gasp but kiss her back, just reveling in having her hands on you. Her hands tangle in your hair, tugging back so she has better access to your neck- the side of it already sporting a hickey from last night.

“Did I ever tell you how fucking hot you are when you use your charmspeak?”

“I don’t know,” you mumble, because you can’t think of anything when her lips are on your neck.

—-

The station is luckily only 20 minutes away from the P.o. box, so the walk is quick through the streets of Myrtle Beach. It’s so loud here. There’s cars constantly whizzing past you, people yelling and honking, sirens in the distance. It’s confusing. It’s so different from Camp.

“I fucking hate this place,” you mumble, fidgeting with a loose string on your backpack.

“I do too,” Clarisse answers, but not for the same reasons. Her eyes whip around, searching for anything hiding in the shadows- but the sky is so blue and the sun makes your skin so warm- it seems unfathomable that any monsters would be here.

Of course, they’re here. They just haven’t come out yet.

Clarisse has been angry at the world for as long as you can remember, but you always thought her roughness balanced out with your softness. Ares and Aphrodite, love and war, peace and violence.

You always thought you could bring out that little bit of softness in her.

“On your left!”

Clarisse drags you out of the way just for a man on a bike to speed past you- your eyes flick to the perfectly usable bike lane on the street.

“Asshole,” you mutter.

“Asshole!” Clarisse shouts after him at the same time. He flips you off and continues shouting at more people to move.

Her hand is digging into your arm. She lets go after she huffs, muttering a few more choice words.

She keeps glaring at every honking car and random pedestrian. You roll your eyes when she yells at some random car to go die, laughing.

“Always fuckin’ honking,” she mutters. You know if she ever got behind the wheel, she would do the exact same thing.

“You’re not any better,” you tell her, nudging her hand that’s currently balled up into a fist.

“Yeah, well, I have a reason to be mad.”

Clarisse is angry at the world, but you know she has reasons. She’s not just angry for the sake of being angry, although she finds comfort in the familiar just like you, she is angry at the world that has done nothing but wrong her time and time again.

Sometimes you wish you could have as much fire in you as her. And two months ago, you thought she had enough fire in her for the both of us.

“Why don’t we grab the box and then go to lunch?” you suggest, getting the feeling that Clarisse is about to explode. She looks at you. “We have a few hours until our train back, hm?”

“Yeah, okay.”

—-

Chiron said this mission wasn’t going to be that dangerous, but you are surprised when it really is that easy. You take the key out from the envelope Chiron gave you, opening the blue box and coming out with a small box. It almost looks like some sort of fancy necklace- a long black box with a silver bow on the outside.

“This feels too easy,” Clarisse says as you lean down to carefully place it in your bag.

You shrug. “You’re always so paranoid, just let it all come naturally. Some things are easy, Clar.”

She stares at you for a moment.

“I guess,” she says, sticking out her hand to help you up before you both make your way back out onto the streets.

Her spear is hidden by the mist, strapped to her back, and you’re sure she has a bunch of little daggers strapped all over her. You scan the busy street.

Clarisse snorts at a restaurant called “Mother Earth Green Food” and her eyes light up at the sight of a 80’s style diner- “Mr. Steve’s Burgers and Bacon”.

“We’re going there,” she declares, and you roll your eyes but follow her across the street. It’s not that busy, seeing as it’s still early, so you’re seated quickly. It feels so good and so wrong to be here across from her like this.

It feels like before. Except some sort of alternate reality, where you actually left camp and got to be like this. You still want her and your trip’s not over yet, so you sink into it.

“Hey guys, I’m Miley and I’ll be your server today. What can I get you for drinks?”

She’s got long dirty blonde hair, tied up in two very neat and impressive space buns. Her skin is tan, but you suppose if she lives near the beach then everyone’s skin is tan, really.

“I really like your hair,” you tell her, pointing to the side of her head. She smiles and bounces one of them in her hand.

“Took me forever,” she chuckles. “I love yours, such a pretty color.” You cheeks blush as you thank her.

She smiles at you and goes off to get them, so you turn back to your menu. Clarisse’s foot taps against the floor.

“What are you thinking of getting?”

She sets her menu down and points to some sort of monstrous burger called “The Bomb.”

You laugh. “The Bomb,” you mock. “Will it explode in your stomach, or something?”

She mumbles something under her breath, staring off towards the counter, and you can tell by the look on her face it’s not anything nice.

“What was that?”

She presses her lips together. “Nothing,” she hums.

You shoot her an odd look but she pointedly looks away, and as much as you want to, you decide not to push.

Miley comes back with your drinks, and you thank her as she sets them down. Clarisse mumbles a thank you too after you kick her foot.

“Okay, and what can I get you guys to eat today?”

You have to kick Clarisse again to remind her to say please.

You smile apologetically up at Miley for Clarisse’s sour mood, but she seems not to care, smiling back at you and saying something about how she’ll make sure it’s out quick for you.

“‘I’ll make sure it comes out quick for you,’” Clarisse mocks, her voice a pitch higher.

“Yeah. Isn’t she so nice? And yet here you are treating her like shit.”

“She’s sucking up for a good tip.”

“Or maybe she’s just nice, Clarisse. There are nice people in the world, you know. Not everyone is all dark and brooding or bitchy.”

The silences stretches for a second too long. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

You hum, sitting on your hands and staring out the window. It’s times like this your miss your mortal childhood, having access to electronics meant you were never bored. You debate taking out the book Marley loaned you, but you don’t get the chance to.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Clarisse announces. “Come with me.” She’s already walking away.

“Who’s gonna watch our stuff?”

“Tell fuckin’ Miley to do it, I don’t care.”

You look around. There’s not many people in the restaurant, and you’re curious and bored- so you follow her. The door swings closed behind her, and it takes you a second to follow her in.

You think she’s disappeared, the bathroom empty with two open stalls. The door is kicked closed behind you. You turn around and Clarisse pushes you into the nearest bathroom, her hands on your waist- you moan in surprise, letting her flip the two of you around and press you against the door, her hand leaving your waist to make quick work of the lock.

“Clarisse,” you breathe. “What’s going on?”

“Do you want me to stop?”

You don’t answer and she kisses you deeper.

—-

“Clarisse.”

She’s been smiling at your neck a little too obviously, and when she finally lets you out from under her lips and hands, you immediately turn around and head for the mirror.

“Clarisse,” you repeat.

She’s looking at you in the mirror and smiling. Actually fucking smiling.

“What is wrong with you?!” you yell, turning on the cold water and frantically bringing it to the red hickies on your neck. “Are you a vampire? Oh, my Gods, Clarisse, this is so fucking embarrassing!”

“It’s not,” she huffs. “You’ll be fine.”

“Cl-” but she’s already left. She really has to stop doing that.

—-

Lunch is fine, you leave Miley a nice tip, even though Clarisse scoffs and mumbles that she wasn’t that good- but you feel so bad that she had to watch you wiggle in your seat, desperately trying to hide your neck as Clarisse ran her foot up and down the side of your leg.

You ignore her the entire walk to the station, she barely hides the smug look on her face. Is she just intent on making you seem stupid and weak? Does she want to embarrass you? She knows. She knows you’re still in love with her and she’s playing you like a fiddle.

You thought Clarisse to be a lot of things, and you know she’s cruel and ruthless- but you never thought she could be this way towards you.

You make it onto the train with no problems, and you’re desperate to just get out of this place and back to camp where you can ignore her. You had one last final hurrah, and now you need to forget her.

You stare pointedly out the window. You ate dinner in the dining cart in silence, Clarisse didn’t try to touch you again, but she seems bored of letting you sulk now that there’s nothing else to entertain her.

It’s only about 7:00 pm- you still have an entire night with her, and a bus ride the next day. Why are the Gods torturing you like this?

“Y/N,” Clarisse says. You’re sitting across from each other. Her foot kicks at yours. “C’mere,” she pats the space next to her on the bench.

You snort. “You’re crazy. I’m not sitting near you.”

She shrugs and stands up, sitting next to you while you gasp in exasperation.

“Bitch,” you mumble, clenching your fists at you stand. She plants her hand on the window, trapping you in with her arm.

“Don’t be mean.”

You fold your arms and stare out the window. She’s right at your shoulder, whispering in your ear even though your alone- it makes you feel so special your head gets all dizzy.

“I want you, Y/N.” Not the way you want her.

“I. Don’t. Care.”

She laughs. You can see her reflection in the mirror, she’s laughing and smiling fondly- staring at you.

You whip around and point your finger at her.

“I won’t let you treat me like a rag doll anymore.”

Her smile falls.

“I used to be something you could just swing around, but I’m not anymore. I won’t ever be a toy for you, Clarisse. These past two days were fun, but they were goodbye. When we get back to Camp I’m getting over you, because I’ve spent too much time waiting for you.”

Her hand falls from the window, and she backs away from you.

—-

When you realize that this train also features another small, single bed, you resist the urge to stomp your feet like a child. Instead, you pretend like it’s all fine, a part of you pretends it’s that alternate before- Clarisse turning around while you change and you leave to brush your teeth and then you come back to her in bed.

You lay down, body unwillingly pressed up against hers. She doesn’t touch you, at least, and it’s tense and silent until she breaks it. Her hand finds yours through the sheets and blankets.

“Y/N.”

You try to shake her hand off of you, mumbling that she’s using your tiredness to manipulate you.

“Do you really think that’s all you were to me?”

You’re frozen, she’s right up against your back, breath tickling your shoulder and voice in your ear again.

Your hand still fits perfectly in hers.

“A toy?”

“What else was I supposed to think?”

She utters the two words you never thought you would hear her say.

“I’m sorry.”

Your breathe hitches.

“I-I know I’ve been stupid, I’m not totally dumb. I just, I had it in my head that I could make you fall in love with me all over again. And then I could do it right, I could fix it, and you could teach me how to love you and I would do it right, Y/N. And then I… I got jealous. Because that fucking server was flirting with you, she was, and I got fucking jealous and I fucked it all up.”

She’s breathing heavily at your shoulder.

“I was scared, Y/N. And that… I didn’t know how to deal with that. I was scared because I love you so much I know I would do anything you asked me too. So, I said those stupid things that night, I just lied because I was scared, and I’ll never forgive myself for the way I made you feel. I don’t deserve another chance, but I want to show you that I can do it right. I can do it however you want me too, as long as you teach me.”

It’s silent for a moment.

“I want you to let me love you.”

She lets go of your hand.

“You don’t have to say anything, I guess,” she swallows. “I mean, if I was you I would have killed me-”

“Really?” you voice comes out like a broken whisper, sitting up so you can look into her eyes. You try to tell if she’s lying, but you can’t. It hurts and it aches so good and she’s not lying.

“Y-yeah, I would have killed me.”

You smile. “No, dumbass, do you really love me?”

“Oh,” she blinks, sitting up too. “Y/N, I love you so much that I’ll never be the same person again.”

You don’t want to kiss her. All you’ve been doing is kissing her, sinking into that hard and rough side of your relationship that’s just hot desire.

But there’s a soft part to Clarisse that you bring out. And you bring it out now, winding your arms around her neck, breathing heavily as you rest your head on her shoulder. She hugs you, her arms are so strong, she always gives the best hugs- and kisses your temple like she did when she thought you were sleeping.

She loved you even when she didn’t know you would feel it.

Your fingers dig into her back.

“I love you,” she says again, softly, like she’s caressing the words with such a reverence that they were bathed in golden ichor. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too,” you say back, you let her love you, and it’s the most true thing you’ve ever known.

—-

“Ah, young warriors!” Chiron says, holding his hands out.

Of course, on the tail end of your trip you had encountered tons of little monsters- more amphisbaena, even a juvenile drakon that could barely spit acid. Clarisse had made a dazzling show of killing all of them, and unlike the first amphisbaena- none of them got close enough to touch you.

You had to charmspeak the train conductor, the police officer at the station, and the bus driver. You wonder faintly if your mother had been looking out for you, helping you love Clarisse again.

Of course, all of those instances ended in Clarisse pulling you into the nearest corner.

It’s different, now that you know that you live each other. She still kisses you with that rough deepness, like she’s starved, like she’s trying to breathe you in, but her hands are so soft around you. She holds your waist close to you, not like she just wants to feel you body, but like she just wants to be close to you.

You swing your backpack off of your shoulder, you can feel your mascara smeared down your face from the heat, digging into your bag for the black box.

Chiron smiles and holds his hands out for you to place them in. “You have my thanks,” he says, laying the box into his hand.

You’re surprised when all he does is take out a simple pen. It looks like a nice pen, sure, but still just a pen.

He uncaps it, letting it fall to the concrete, when it suddenly transforms into a sword. You yelp and jump back, Clarisse puts her arm in front of you, and Chiron laughs triumphantly.

“Beautiful!” he says, admiring the carefully crafted sword.

Mr. D dissolves into a fit of laughter. “No more bad blood, huh?”

Clarisse drops her hand from where it reaches for her spear, and her other arm from across your body. Her hands drop to her sides, her face turns back into a mask of indifference and she shrugs.

Mr. D seems to find that even more funny, and Chiron dismisses you with a wave of his hand, staring in awe at the silver sword.

Clarisse presses her lips together into a tight line until you smack a kiss on her cheek.

“Love you,” you sing, and her face breaks out into a wide smile. It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, and it’s the only thing you ever want to know. All you need to know is her and her love.

—-

marley when she finds out clarisse and y/n are dating again: if you EVER and i mean EVER hurt her again i will torture you in ways not even imagined yet.

clarisse: ok yes i promise 😟😟

—-

clarisse when she realized she was in love with y/n: NO NO NO NO NEW FEELINGS NO I REJECT THIS AND I MUST RUN AWAY IN FACT THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

also clarisse when she realized she just broke up with y/n: OH GODS NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WHAT HAVE I DONE NO NO NO NO PLEASE NO NO NO

—-

honorable mention to y/n fuck em’ and hate em’ l/n

another honorable mention to clarisse “none of them got close enough to hurt you” la rue

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish

@sincerely-silk @lacytalks

—-

pls ignore it’s for the acc aesthetics thank you!!

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader

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theeternalwombtarot · 1 year ago

Text

Your present reality vs far future

message: I'm doing a reading from bed today guys, believe it or not, I have not done any readings from bed in quite a long time lol! I have a designated table for these types of things in the house but I'm feeling like taking it easy today and relaxing. Sometimes doing readings or creating tarot content feels like a chore although I really love it. Many things in my life have felt like a chore lately between work and school and managing my time properly and whatever else I have selected to put on my plate. This is the reason why I'm pulling this reading out of my draft list, I have many readings stored away in my drafts about various things. I felt called to do this one because I felt that maybe the collective wanted some insight as to what the life they're working towards or manifesting may look like. I've been feeling called to do these types of 3D-themed readings for a while. I also considered releasing a financial forecast reading as well. I'm asking spirit and setting my intention for this reading to motivate and help awaken the collective to the reality their higher selves live and what needs to be done or put in in order to receive the manifestation of the dream life you deserve collective. I know many people whose past life karma, the beliefs they grew up with, their childhood trauma, and the experiences that they were given within this lifetime to put them on their highest path of ascension if they made the right choices or saw things the best way has made them feel very discouraged and stuck and has ruined the idea that a good life is available for them to be a recipient of. It is not your fault that the divine plan that was set in place for you to learn certain lessons was difficult or was dreadful or took such a large toll on you but it is possible to heal from and be relieved from such a way of things. I swear. And today I will try and deliver to you the truth of a life you could live away from the hurt, the karmic cycles, and the trauma or hard times. Anyways, many months ago when I created the draft for this reading I chose Miss Frida Kahlo and her wonderful art for my banner and my pick-a-pile covers. I hope that you enjoy her as much as I enjoy her and her legacy and art.

your past: I pulled the three of swords for your past pile one, there could've been a lot of loss and a lot of heartbreak cut out for you. Loss may have served as a large aspect of some of your greatest lessons. The loss of a parent to death or to outside third party obligations, the loss of a lover or many, the loss of approval or much-needed validation from outside sources, loss shaped the way things were laid out for you and was responsible for some of the behaviors or needs that you had for a long time. There's an essence of learning that is so incredibly significant to you here, you could've begun your life in a way where knowledge or the need for knowledge was heavily significant in your life, but I also see this idea of the primary purpose for your life events and circumstances was for you to learn important lessons early in order for you to become something great in your future. You could've had to grow up really fast, had to experience or see things or undergo drastic changes and hardships that people usually don't at such a large volume but you were made to survive and flourish. You're someone with a great purpose, you may be a healer or a light worker or someone who has a heavily significant gift even if your gifts aren't in the world of helping people along their ascension or things that fall into the metaphysical.

your present reality: you've reached a point within your journey where you've outgrown and broken all of your karmic cycles or successfully and fully completed the portion of your life that was heavily designed by the divine to teach you some of your most intense and powerful lessons, congratulations pile one. I almost said pile two, there may be messages for you in pile two. Last night in a reading I had said that there is a portion of someone's life in which their past life karma and the events in their lives and their experiences are heavily determined by what needs to be a part of their reality in order to reach the level of ascension needed to step into their higher self and fulfill their purpose. Sort of in the way in which we spend a large majority of our lives as minors in someone's care before we're considered legal adults and can go off on our own and create our own lives and stories. and This was exactly that. You've graduated or aged out of a space in time within your journey where your hardest lessons were that were meant to shape you.

You are at the beginning of your life, the world is yours. Some of you have just turned 19 years old or are newly adults. The number 19 is associated with perseverance, inner power, and finding your own path or finding your own spiritual path. The number 1 symbolizes the beginning and the number 9 symbolizes completion or near completion or the point in which someone is about to reach their highest level of completion or wholeness. You also have the ten of cups here indicating bliss, harmony, and alignment. This point is the calm after the storm that you have experienced, the ages of 6 and 7 may be incredibly significant for you as well and could've been the point in which certain karmic cycles or karmic energies began to flare up for you within your life.

You're at this extremely significant point in time, I see spirit or your spirit guides and ancestors opening up this huge door for you or you getting ready to walk through this gigantic door you've been waiting to enter for a long time. I see little you or someone being a teenager waiting in front of a door or sitting in front of a door. Someone had an ancestor or a spirit guide that always wanted to let you in early or always wanted to let you see what was on the other side even if you weren't ready yet someone's ancestor or spirit guide is very sorry that you had a hard time or had to go through so much, you have buckets of compassion in other realms for you pile one. Behind the door there is all of these opportunities, all of this abundance and all of these beautiful things for you to have and experience as compensation.

your future: in your future there's a lot of you using everything you've learned or everything you've experienced to keep you grounded or consistently moving in the right direction. Not out of a place of fear but out of a place of wisdom and knowing. You may also be someone who struggles with commitments in your life either emotionally or in the physical/material aspect of things and this is not going to be something that continues to hold you back I just heard "You'll find your way." or something along the lines of being able to put your money where your mouth is or stand fully in the things you want to accomplish will come to you eventually and you won't have to worry about this any longer if you worry about your productivity or your performance or your ability to take action and make things happen. You'll soon be seen as someone very disciplined who has things figured out and mapped out and you'll not only be seen that way but you'll be that person actually.

Some of you are young and may feel disappointed in yourself or having a hard time accepting that you are in fact young and there are skills or things you're not immediately good at or have to learn to do with time as you come into yourself due to the fact that you may be someone who is very grown up, wise or mature in a lot of areas. You are not behind. I just heard "allow yourself to grow." someone's ancestor or spirit guide thinks it's funny that you might get upset at the fact that you have a hard time. They see you as a baby in a suit lol. You may be unable to see just how much you have within your life or feel you crave more or don't get all the recognition you rightfully deserve within this lifetime to some extent here. You may fall into a practitioner role or be someone who teaches or creates a name for themselves through a leadership role or through something like divination. You'll be someone mysterious and sensual or someone who attracts the attention or curiosity of many. I just heard "friend of the world" or "mother" You may hold mystique and/or have a very high status patriarchal or matriarchal vibe. You may be well known in the world of the arts or there will be a worldly presence about you that you'll hold for the remainder of your life.

I pulled "The Daughter of Skulls" in the deck I'm using today and in essence, she represents infinite potential of life on earth. "steady and secure materialization. infinite potential. birth. completion. abundance. strength. tangible. earthly happiness. pure creation. opportunity. generous. beautiful. sensual. benevolent. arousal. adoration. truth. security. commitment. freedom. sensations. perfection. divine inspiration and holy wisdom. here is the message behind this card in the Tarot book for this deck:

In your future, what you put out in the world you will receive in return in full capacity and you will give to the world a lot and the most valuable and most cherished things. Anything that comes from you or derives from you will be held at high regard and will be something of value. Your ideas, your guidance, your charity and even your children if you bless this world with any.

how you'll get there: value yourself and value your energy and your time and your essence. You are a person of high rare value and you must behave as such. Your first line of defense is always going to be you in the physical realm and world of the living and your second line of defense is your spirit guides and ancestors. You cannot receive the things you want in your life or get to where you want to be or be who your higher self is if you do not protect yourself in every sense there is. respect your legacy in the making. make choices according to where you want to go, be the energy you want to receive. your success in your life will come from you using your wisdom and using the respect you have for yourself and the love you have for yourself as your biggest weapon. People often see us the way we see ourselves when we have a very strong sense of identity whether or not it's a honest one or not. People will come to you because you're magnetic. Success will follow you because you're magnetic and it's safe in your hands. continue to nurture yourself and your energy and your persona. I don't even mean in the sense of who you present to others as an alter ego but your higher self or who you feel called to be. Love yourself, love your life, value your essence. easier said than done for most but if this message is yours you know exactly what means, looks like, feels like, sounds like, tastes like. Love is your sixth sense.

ii.

your past: your childhood or past could've had a lot of stagnancy and suppression within it. There's something authoritative here or something that restricted someone's self-expression or was very judgmental and inflexible. this could be anything a parent or a legal guardian, a school system or a culture or a religion. Someone was a brilliant child or was someone with a lot of broad potential for many things who didn't get the freedom or ability to blossom or grow the way they rightfully deserved, there's a suppressed part of someone here that has been pushed into the shadow or has been lying dormant. you may have a difficult time making decisions in your life or have low self-esteem or an inability to think for yourself, express yourself or have a wicked case of imposture syndrome that tells you that you're not worth much or that you aren't capable of much but you're very powerful and very divine.

incredibly smart, have a psychic ability or an oppressed spiritual gift. someone told you that you were crazy or weird or led you in a direction or raised you up in a way that very heavily wounded your sense of self. this could also be a case of environmental oppression of the spirit, somewhere you once resided or the place you do reside and/or haven't moved away from didn't have the resources to accommodate you or help you. you may have a mental illness or a disability or have very heavy trauma that may impair you. There was some complication with the message that came through at first, I couldn't grasp it right away and I think this is reflective of the energy you may be in because something has cut you off or pushed you to lose something that was a naturally given birthright for you that you inherited from your ancestors or one in particular like a father or a grandfather or someone on your paternal line or a masculine energy. potentially one who passed away before your time. I pulled "The Lord of Knives" in the deck I'm using here's the message and essence behind the card:

someone in your life could've known that you had a gift and took advantage of the fact that you were a child and may have had their own ideas about which direction they felt you were destined to go or put a lot of energy into suppressing your gifts or trying to break your spirit for fear you'd be entirely too difficult to control or be disobedient or out of jealousy for what you'd get in life or what you'd reap if you were allowed to grow into your power or be yourself. I see this could've been multiple people who chipped it to see you fall or have a hard time it may have started in the home or came from the home as well but it also was something you dealt with outside of your life, in your social life. Someone was afraid of fullness of conserved power in you.

your present reality: You're about to grow into yourself or at the brink of your ascension, you couldn't spent a lot of time in a stagnant place with many karmic behaviors and cycles, you could've fallen into addictions or fallen into some hard places or ran into a lot of karmic people and situations that were meant to shake you awake or act as major catalyst to put you on the right path. I hear someone saying that these were the cards you were dealt in terms of your past (both as a child and in your early life and in your recent past or in these past couple of years) and there isn't much you can do about that but you can use the cards you were dealt with to alchemize your self and learn the right lessons and find what you may have lost a long time ago. there's something significant here about your crown chakra being closed or you having a hard time learning lessons or taking the positives out of a negative situation or circumstance.

There was a recent catalyst that you've just experienced or are standing in at the moment that has been the last one for this block of time or this cycle of misfortune or hardship. You need peace and quiet or you need most at this time the ability to break away and turn inwards and soul search. It's about time some inner clarity on certain matters including the directory of your life and what you need to do come to you. you're about to rethink an idea or any clouded judgment you've had or carried with you about your sense of direction or where you needed to go, do, or be is about to clear. At this point in your life you're potentially in a place where you're juggling the persona you've been given or the one you've grown into to assimilate or that was in alignment with your choices and the life that goes with it and the person you really are and the life you are destined to have that's in alignment with who you truly are. this collective is always a really heavy one within my readings, you're always with me, I've practically grown up with you and now is your moment. I've always loved you and seen your light. it is now time you see it to and step into your power pile two.

You're in the process of regeneration and healing as well after a time long spent carrying with you wounds and skeletons. You're finally on the rise and about to reach your freedom. You're so close.

your future: I see you feeling and being victorious. a force to be reckoned with. people might actually believe you to be the golden standard of something or may idealize you or feel that you're glorious. You may be someone who is heavily put on a pedestal by their romantic partners and romanticized even to a point where you don't understand and they may become increasingly disappointed or have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you're a real person with real flaws are can't possibly be everything they've chosen to try and make you out to be but I see this no longer being the case with anyone in the future in the sense that you will be everything and more. You may be heavily attracted to someone in your present life or be really infatuated or obsessed with someone in your present life who is a fantasy-like individual or has a really beaming sort of divinity that you wish that you could embody on your own and you will. You are divine and you will be divine and that will be the end of it. You'll be someone in the future who has a knack for improving themselves or finds great pleasure in self-improvement and pushing limits, even to the point of perfectionism it may work against you at some point but what it really does for you is set the standard for which you think you're worth and what you think you're capable of doing or accomplishing.

You may find that you'll be someone in the future and for a good amount of it who is a lone wolf or is seeking out a divine counterpart or someone to compliment you and bring to you your ten of cups or your divinely ordained commitment here or some sort of completion. I see you holding off for it and devoting a large amount of your energy towards your self-care and your physical world and career as you look for deep and divine commitment in your love life and partnerships. You may be someone who commands a lot of attention or that people desire to follow around or invest in deep commitments with but will find yourself not necessarily lonely but seeking something profound, at this stage in your ascension you'll have the ability to detect intention and what is in store for you and another individual intuitively. You could very well be a masculine energy or just someone who is very action-oriented and moves through their lives with a sense of fluidity. I pulled the "Prince of Scepters" here is the essence and description attached to this card from the book:

how you'll get there:

focus on taking the time you need for yourself to thoroughly recover from the things you've experienced and allow yourself the time to make the changes you need to make to come into your power and refine who you need to be. Don't rush into commitments out of loneliness or force yourself to be around people just to keep company or just to make it seem like you are loved by others, it's okay to be alone or to use the time you have being alone for a productive cause that pertains to you, you're not selfish or wrong for it. Continue to grow and pour your energy into yourself. Love yourself enough to meet your own needs, love yourself enough to do things for the sake of your own nourishment, and stay far away from things that can destroy you out of craving or desire. take time to think about what you truly want and come into alignment with that by trusting that it exists and that it's available for you to have if that's truly what you want. the world is yours after such a long time of being denied it and it's time you align yourself with receiving it.

iii.

your past: This may not be for the entire collective but it's likely there could've been some of you that could've experienced some violence or abusive environment even may have had someone in your life that was emotionally volatile that you could never truly please or had to walk on eggshells around. could've also been heavily oversexualized in your life as a child and during your teen years or general early life. there's a possibility someone could've attracted a lot of people who wanted to take from them or exploit them and did. Some of y'all could have experienced a lot of heartbreak from a young age or a lot of your needs not being met or your first heart break or massive bouts of betrayal from significant individuals like family members or like your parents and that could've heavily affected the way you behaved in front of others or how you navigated in the world. It's possible some of you could've developed a personality disorder or may struggle with mental health. You may have developed a tendency to lie to get approval or to get your way or obtain opportunities you don't believe you could receive if you were just yourself. lie or put on facades.

You may also have liked to party within the past couple of years or went through a lot to try and keep from being alone with yourself or being isolated or feeling alone. If it wasn't partying it was attempting to keep as many friends as possible or do what was necessary to keep as much attention as you felt you needed.

your present reality: you could be potentially dealing with a lot of energetic pressure in the heart space or undergoing a heart chakra awakening. You could be in and out of depression at this time potentially as well. Things from your past or past suppressed feelings or memories are resurfacing. if it's coming up, it needs to come out. You're learning what it means to love yourself and operate from a place of love instead of fear. You could be experiencing heavy emotions attached to codependency There could've been a loss or multiple. Of friends or lovers or both, people you may have heavily relied on past even a healthy point. relied on for various things, to regulate your emotions, validate your existence, or prove to you that you are loved or could be loved. There's also a potential you may have several uncut soul ties from past lovers and failed relationships, talking stages, or sexual rendezvous. You may have attempted to use your knowledge to cut them or severe them but it was somewhat unsuccessful.

You've been isolating yourself lately or having a lot of trouble being perceived or have developed a deep/deeper fear of being seen. You may have spent a lot of time off of social media or have been minimizing the amount you're willing to share about how you feel with "friends" and family. This could potentially serve as a way of being able to control your environment and what comes in and out of space so as not to trigger you. someone might be an air sign as well, you may not have the ability you may usually have to let things flow right through you or control the way you react to certain stimuli. You're bothered, triggered, or heavily emotionally sensitive or volatile at this time. You're undergoing a dark night of the soul and are in the process of waning in order to return in better shape soon. You're the last portion of the collection to undergo a full transformation. Some of you apart of this pile/collective are individuals who have younger spirits or haven't been on this early plane for very long or haven't lived multiple lives here.

You could have very youthful or childish energy or tendencies in your most authentic and natural state, you may look older or give the impression to others that you are older than you really are. You're in the process of healing the part of you that's karmic behavior may stem from a stunted place in your growth. learning how to properly navigate in the world and in your relationships, learning how to communicate properly, some of you may also be seeking out therapy or psych evaluations or may be placed in alignment to receive those types of mental health services.

your future: You'll be completely committed to the cause that is loving yourself and being the energy that you want to receive or manifest in all forms. Self love or insecurity may be something you have struggled with for the vast majority of your life so much so that a few of you have learned to heavily overcompensate or have developed an extremely inflated sense of self-importance that comes from a seemingly narcissistic place due to your past. learning how to do things authentically and from an honest place and not take short cuts or use your trauma as a way to cushion the fact that you may have some unhealed aspects of your shadow is something that you'll be learning to do and be determined to do.

You'll be in the process of challenging beliefs you've learned from your past or carried with you a long way and be in the state of learning and growing for a large amount of time for the earliest portion of your enlightened life. Any growing up you failed to do or limited mindset you've carried is what you'll primarily be working on. You may be disconnected spiritually or disconnected from spirit or God as well and your faith and purpose is something that you'll be working on or trying to find guidance through. You'll be entering your most in-depth spiritual journey or spiritual rebirth. You may have spiritual knowledge already but it comes from a limited place or the intention for learning isn't in the right place.

by the time you've completed this inner work and have come into alignment with your purpose and what you're meant to do within this lifetime you'll find yourself feeling relieved and having more room within yourself to build your life in such a way that will bring true fulfillment for you. You may have a tendency to heavily fixate on the physical or material world or the way your reality "appears" in the 3D and neglect your spirit, emotional/mental well-being, or internal affairs which has played a huge factor in your stunted growth and ability to operate and your future will begin itself with you having no choice but to shift your focus and find alignment internally before you can make anything come into rightful alignment in your physical life.

how you'll get there: you'll receive your highest reality by nurturing and healing the parts of you that need the most care and attention, which happens to be everything within and in spirit. There can be no true abundance or alignment if we don't bring into true order our internal aspects first. Be for your inner child who you would have wanted for them growing up. You are your first line of defense for your internal and vulnerable self and behind that is your spirit guides and ancestors. Your journey to your highest reality and your deepest place of alignment is going to be a lot of soul searching and a lot of inner work and growth and the effort that you put in to get yourself there. I pulled "The Daughter of Scepters" in the tarot deck I've chosen for this reading and here's the essence and meaning of the card for you to read:

I also channeled the song "Tell Him" by Lauryn Hill, and "Him" as referred to in the song would be self (you).

Your greatest strength will be utilizing the natural free-spirited energy of your spirit, use it to allow yourself to embrace change and do the inner work to break karmic cycles and emerge out of stagnancy when it finds you.

This reading took me so long guyss 😭😭 I broke it into two parts, I completed the first two piles that took me a couple of hours last night yesterday and then this morning I woke up with the intention to finish. I hope you found what you were looking for in this reading and it touched you!! I was unsure about the directory spirit took it in because I had envisioned it to be more of an entertainment type reading and be more surface level in its content but it turned out completely different. Bless you. 🤎

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sahisan · 7 months ago

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silence.

tomioka giyuu x gn!reader.

⭒ summary: everyone knows that giyuu isn't much of a talker, so this depicts the silent moments with him that you both have come enjoy.

⭑ cw: sfw. mentions of giyuu's past (final selection w sabito). a bit of angst. reader is bad at comforting. giyuu loves you sm. like loves.

⭒ wc: 2.8k.

⭑ a/n: this took me too long wth, almost a month i fear lol. this was written during my demon slayer hyperfixation comeback (it's gone now) so uh. also acheron fic coming soon (i hope soon)! pls like and reblog !!

it wasn't exactly silence after giyuu finished speaking. there were sounds of birds chirping, wind occasionally blowing, resulting in sounds of swaying leaves on the trees being more audible. some even fell because of the invisible force of the air, ending up meeting the gravel ground near the engawa.

having told a good share of his past to you—precisely about sabito and the final selection, which were the main reason he wasn't exactly thrilled about taking part in the hashira training—giyuu decided to stop himself from telling you any more, choosing to leave other topics for later.

but will you still have this 'later' now that he's shared even a small bit of himself?

to you, the silence was awkward. not having the faintest idea of what to say in reply to that wasn't exactly what you would want to experience, yet here you were. it felt useless even trying to think of something, to try and make something up in your mind, even taking a bit more time than you usually do when thinking of a response, bur nothing could've prepared you to thinking of what to reply to this.

it made your stomach churn with how you realised you couldn't seem to know what to do, what to say, how to comfort him; the closest to you person finally started to open uo, little by little, bit by bit and you instead feel like an immobile log, only being able to sit there and listen, not being able to muster up a word of comfort.

and you know, you know that it's because you've never heard the said words of colsolation in your life; thus, you didn't know how to comfort giyuu.

another gust of wind blew through the air, nearly ruffling your and his hair, and for a moment you think of giyuu with his hair no longer in a low ponytail, but instead it being messy and disarranged and you think of running your fingers through it. you hope you'll have such opportunity, even if only once.

another fallen onto your lap leaf helped you out of your thoughts; it would be even more awkward if you hadn't managed to say something at all, daydreaming and continuing on staying silent. you take the leaf between your fingers before it manages to fly away and take a look at it; elm.

"i'm... sorry," you finally spoke, voice quiet as to not disturb anything around. you felt so meek just hearing your own voice. "i don't really know what to say. but i'm sorry for what happened with sabito."

you took a pause; you were never one to have a good way with words, and it made everything even worse in this situation.

"just know that... i'm here for you whenever you want to talk to me about anything. i'll listen."

giyuu's head was in the same position as yours—lowered to look down at his lap. he couldn't say the atmosphere was tense, no, not at all. he knew this was a lot to digest in such a small period of time, no matter how long you've been silent, and he could see your hesitation in choosing the right words; you surely didn't voice your inability to properly comfort him, but didn't blame you for your lack in knowledge about it. he could guess why.

"it's alright," he said just as quietly, silently exhaling a small breath. it felt as if it was easier to breathe now that he had shared this bit of his past to you. "it was about time i told you anyways. i'm already glad you listened. don't bother with words."

you still felt that just listening wasn't enough.

"have you eaten yet?" giyuu broke another silence after a few more minutes of listening to the wind's unregulated breathing, wishing to change the topic to not overexert you mentally any further—what he's told you was enough and it wasn't like he wanted you to dwell on that story. he simply wanted you to know.

"forgot to."

giyuu knew quite well as of now that you tended to, much to his dismay, forget to have some of the meals throughout the day, and it didn't make it better when you could even skip lunch because of training or meetings or anything at all. once, he even told you that he was going to forbid you to enter the training grounds unless you've had at least two meals throughout the day. it's safe to say he physically couldn't do so, so for that period of time you and your exercises were safe.

giyuu didn't need to hear more from you. standing up from his sitting position on the engawa, he then offered you a hand to help you up. and with the gesture, you both knew that there was no need for more words.

the silence in the small soba restaurant never bothered you; it's a place where people came to eat, not to talk, after all. you two were the only people inside for now, but the sounds of utensils clanking and the smell of more food being cooked in the kitchen were very much present, and still, besides that, it was silent.

and still, your mind never seemed to get over how giyuu just brushed your inability to utter something reassuring off. maybe he didn't even want and didn't need the comfort you failed to provide; maybe he expected something like that from you, judging from your earlier reaction to his words just as he'd started talking. yes, he must've known you were bad at feelings, especially other people's, but was he used to it? he undeniably looked like he was, and that was just sad.

chopsticks carefully picking up the soba and guiding them into your mouth, noticing giyuu doing the same near you, your mind picked up the thought that, probably, saying something regarding what he told you about would be inappropriate, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of needing to get something out; something that could just show him that you understand him that much, at least.

"sabito would most definitely be out to get you for the mindset you have now."

out of the corner of your eye you notice that giyuu's hand, previously holding his chopsticks with a bit of noodles picked up, stops. it's not at all an abrupt stop, more like when coming to a thought one's mind has been chasing for a while already. you stop, too, having finished chewing.

and when the silence between you two starts feeling a little too long and a little too tense, and you start thinking that you may have said a very wrong and inappropriate thing, giyuu speaks up in a such relaxed and unimpressed manner that you involuntarily start questioning your choice of words. you'd expected him to get mad or upset, but not—

"you for yours, too."

oh.

"...touchè."

well.

the nights are—mostly—always silent.

the nights spent with giyuu are silent in their own, unmistakable way.

you two seem to create another form of serenity together—everything becomes as still as possible, wind appearing barely once for a few moments to ruffle the trees' leaves and then disappear without a trace.

your head is gently laid on giyuu's lap and gaze fixed on the night sky above with the stars filling the inky abyss, each sparkling more than the previous, as if trying to catch your attention, your eyes move from one to another, wanting to get a look at them all, wanting to engrave the look of them in your mind and keep it here; but there was just so much — you aren't sure if there even exists a number as big as the number of stars up there.

("do you think we get a star out there after death?"

"...maybe."

"would you try to look for mine when i die?"

"..."

"...sorry."

"...i would.")

with giyuu still looking somewhere in front of him—you can't quite decipher where, maybe he's just spaced out—your hand somewhere a bit lower your chest and his hand laying loosely over yours, you close your eyes and slowly inhale the night air; it smells of pine and momentarily happiness.

a few moments later giyuu's head tangibly shifts, and, having little self-restraint when it comes to curiosity, you open your eyes again—maybe he'd be looking at something different now?

and as your eyelids open, you find him to be staring at no one other than you.

eyes usually cold as a snowstorm and endless as the abyss above you both have now descended to endearment and devotion as they look into yours. they twitch slightly lower and to the side, watching your lips for a few seconds, before coming back upwards to your eyes.

he's so enchanting—close to being as enchanting as the stars he's now blocking your view of. maybe he even looks like one in your mind, or maybe it's just his endless eyes, the colors of which blend into the matching endless night sky. you notice yourself not minding the blocked view if the one doing it is giyuu.

with the main sight now being his eyes instead of the gleaming celestial bodies—you can't exactly complain—you feel like staring into them an eternity more, and then another and another until you've memorized each and every pattern in them. and you're sure that if eyes could talk, both your and his would scream affection.

"you're blocking the view," you say, having no more stars to see right in front of you, them being replaced with giyuu's face.

"you seem to be enjoying it all the same," giyuu declares, unimpressed, despite his eyes narrowing the slightest bit in amusement. you're pretty sure his mouth's corners nearly curve upwards. you would've loved to witness him smile, especially at the moment.

you hum quietly, eyes wandering over his face—how can one attract so much? and it's not just about his beauty; he's everything you've ever needed and didn't know you ever needed in your life. "i never said i wasn't enjoying it."

giyuu, too, can't seem to be able to tear his eyes away from you—starting from your eyes as well, they descend lower to your lips (he's a very patient man), neck—and he regrets both of you being too shy and humble to try and leave hickeys on each other, he would enjoy that sight very much—then your uniform which just suits you so much, and, in the end, your hand, one of which is held by his—when did he go from it simply lying on top of yours to holding it?—and he involuntarily laces your fingers together slowly, eyes following each and every movement. your hands are almost just as his—arms a bit scarred underneath the clothes, skin on the palms calloused from holding your katanas, along with healed nicks and occasional cuts.

humming as well in acknowledgement of your words, his gaze follows the trail back to your face and settle back on your eyes. he has to remind himself to not look into them too long, fearing he'd get too lost in their infinite beauty.

"we could stay like this forever," giyuu suddenly speaks up, and with the quietness of the words said they don't seem to disturb the silence at all.

"we could."

you get what he's trying to say. there was never enough time for both of you since the moment you've joined the demon slayers, and then the hashiras, signing yourself a death warrant when doing so; it's pointless to deny the truth and the inevitable, and you both long learned to embrace it.

but all the sadness and inevitableness can be forgot at times like these, right? even just for the night or for a few hours before the two of you go back to your routine duties.

"but what would you do then?" you continue, being tempted into asking the question with the smallest teasing lilt in your voice, as if prompting him to speak about his feelings about you.

feelings are hard, especially for someone like him—especially for someone with the past and job he has—but slowly, bit-by-bit, step-by-step, you try to get him to understand them, even if you're lost in your own and sometimes can't find a way out of your own feelings. you guess it comes with the job.

guyuu stops to think for, maybe, a bit more than a minute or two, and lets the silence embrace both of you again. again, it's never tense with him (you don't really want to remember the time he told you about sabito, though it still lingers in the back of your mind and comes up in the most unpleasant times), as you two gratefully grab onto the every little bit of serenity and peace you have.

while he thinks, your gaze, once again, roams over his face, with the twinkling stars now serving as a simple background for what—who—you're seeing, being a pleasant compliment to the sight in front of you. moonlight obligingly illuminates a great half of his face, letting you see most details on it, and who would you be if you missed on this opportunity?

nearly just as he's about to start talking, his lips opening and, dear gods above, he can sense your eyes shifting to his moving lips. it's always with you that he feels like a teenager—not really lovey-dovey, but it's a fact that he lets himself be more open to feelings with you.

"i would..." giyuu starts, taking a small break before continuing—to gather his thoughts, knowing you're watching him as intently as you can, and it's not in the least bit uncomfortable as it would be if it wasn't you.

"i would look at you," he says. "for the rest of eternity. i wouldn't want to do anything else besides it."

as he finishes speaking, you slowly but surely feel the tips of your ears becoming a shade of red; thankfully, it's not your face. yet.

"is that so?" you manage to whisper out, taking slow and barely audible breaths to try and calm your fast beating heart. he probably can hear it with how your back lays on his lap, but that doesn't really matter. "wouldn't you get bored?"

"never."

you're sure your face gets a small tint of red.

you, involuntarily, hold your breath after his words, eyes widening a tad bit, and it's only a few seconds later that you quietly exhale the air you didn't know you have been holding in.

the words he says are so simple—but he does have a way with them, and that's what makes you love him more and more with each syllable leaving his lips.

there's moonlight illuminating his—and your—face, and you seem to notice it just now. it shines onto a great half of his face, letting you see even more details on his skin, and if it was illegal to stare for so long, you'd be long behind bars, living your worst ever imaginable life without having something as precious and pretty as giyuu to look at.

his eyes shift. you get the hint just as his gaze moves onto your lips—you've been looking at them so attentively, it'd be a shame if you didn't notice that.

having taken a, supposedly, not so fitting of a position to kiss, you have to sit up using your hands and place them on the grass beneath you to hold yourself up, and your face moves just enough for him to understand. you don't make any rash movements; you're careful but your intentions are evident.

giyuu's face shifts closer, too. it moves forward until he feels like both your and his lips are soon to meet together. one look into each other's eyes is all it takes for his appearance to soften and lean towards you.

your lips touch in a kiss and you feel like you could die right now and there because of how soft it feels, coming from him, usually so sharp and harsh; it feels like your lips are melting together but you don't have it in you to mind—it's been far too long since you two have had any time to yourselves and your small affections and you don't know when you'll have another night like this.

his eyes settle closed the same time as yours do, and as much as you like looking at him, it just helps the atmosphere around you even more. giyuu's lips slowly, gently move against yours and you just happen to think of how tender they are, and that warms your chest more than anything.

it's silent and wordless with giyuu, and you just happen to love it.

#giyuu x reader #giyuu x y/n #giyuu tomioka #giyuu tomioka x reader #giyuu tomioka x y/n #tomioka giyuu x reader #kny #kny x reader #kny x y/n #kny x you #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer x you #demon slayer x y/n

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thatswhatsushesaid · 29 days ago

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i actually love so many titles available through the “choice of games” app and have amassed a small library of them over the last couple of years, so if you are looking for text-based games to play knowing that your dollars will go directly towards supporting the artists who created them, i have some excellent game suggestions for you:

this is probably my number one favourite game available through the app, strictly in terms of the quality of the writing, the creative means of having your character interact with the world, varied and diverse roleplay opportunities, and a satisfying ending. do you like vampires, particularly vampire: the masquerade? are you prepared to care about cars like you never cared about them before? kyle marquis knocks it out of the park.

if you’ve ever found yourself craving a roleplay experience clearly inspired by jeeves and wooster and the absurdity of “the importance of being earnest,” this is the game for you. i truly don’t want to say much more because it is SUCH a delightful journey to experience this game without too many spoilers, but if you want a sweet romance game that will still leave you in stitches from laughter, you have to pick this one up. and, good news—there’s a sequel!

so while i really enjoyed tally ho, i have to say that it’s in jolly good that kreg segall really gets to stretch his writing, character, and game design chops; it is a much larger story in that there are over 1.2 million words spanning so many different narrative paths that i still haven’t found them all. and! you can select your key choices from the previous game, including the name of the valet/maid and who they romanced. you aren’t playing the same character, which is a good thing imho, but a lot of favourites from the first game make a reappearance in this one, always to delightful effect. and fitzie!! oh, where to start with fitzie. anyway it’s quite clear by the time you complete this game that segall has created something truly special for us to enjoy, so i do hope that he returns to writing these games one day.

these are my three favourites!! i do have some others to add but i also lost track of time while throwing this together lol gotta run some errands now.

#ray.txt #choice of games #vampire: the masquerade #vtm: night road #kyle marquis #tally ho #jolly good: cakes and ale #kreg segall

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applespants · 1 month ago

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Hotel Room Service {NSFW}

Orion Pax x D-16

Read on Ao3 Here!

Word Count: 4.9k (under the cut)

Summary: Orion Pax has promised D-16 a night to remember, and D-16 makes sure that he's thoroughly prepared. (NSFW!! Minors DNI)

A/N: these robots have taken over my BRAIN!! i took some inspo from the lovely @archie-sunshine and his stunning art here for a certain part of this fic hehe but i also just wanted to write some porn for the holidays cuz who doesn't want some horny robots as a gift? LOL anyways i hope y'all enjoy this one i had a ton of fun writing it!! have a lovely holiday if you celebrate!! :D

---

D-16 walked quickly through the streets of Iacon, avoiding the surrounding bots’ optics. He was on the hunt for a gift for Orion Pax, but he could feel his spark hammering in his chest as he stepped closer and closer toward the red-light district.

Dee, I really want to have a whole night with you. Just the two of us! Orion’s voice echoed in D-16’s processor as he slowed his pace, taking in the neon lights of the street. We won’t have to worry about anyone walking in on us. We could even–

D-16 gulped as he stared down the street. There were hardly any other bots, but the noisy clamor of activity still echoed. The shop signs were almost all made with neon lights, but most were not on. He slowly began to walk down the street, then did a quick scan of his surroundings. After deciding there were no bots that he recognized or that would care about his presence, he continued down the street.

There were several couples walking down the street, arms linked, though he was not sure of the exact relationship status of most of them. He tried to avoid locking optics with any of them, looking for a shop that would have what he was looking for.

He came across the window of a particular storefront and peeked in, seeing a wide variety of different interface toys and special interface accessories. The neon sign was on above, signaling that it was open. D-16 took a deep breath and glanced side-to-side once more, then entered the store.

D-16 fiddled with his thumbs awkwardly as he walked into the store, tried to redirect his optics anywhere that did not have some sort of interface toy, and failed miserably. There were so many different colors and shapes and sizes of so many different vibrators and plugs and dildos… D-16 was immediately overwhelmed by the options.

“Hello there!” D-16’s helm whipped around and he was met with a shorter bot that was too close in his personal space. The bot grinned when he noticed the look on D-16’s face and made a gesture behind him to a display filled with a variety of dildos. “Welcome to Dipstick’s Deviant Delights! My name’s Dipstick. How can I help you today?”

The last thing D-16 had been expecting from an interface shop was customer service. He blinked and swallowed the lump in his intake, trying to find any sort of words to communicate what he was looking for.

Dipstick waved a servo. “Are you in here for just yourself or for a partner?”

D-16 felt his spark beating faster as he thought of Orion. Oh Primus, what would Orion even like? D-16 should have thought it through more before making the whole trek to the red-light district, but it was too late for second guessing now.

“Uhm… my partner…”

Dipstick nodded and held his chin with his servo. “Nice, nice… So what are you two into?”

D-16 froze. “Pardon?”

“You seem like you’re into oral,” Dipstick observed casually, making D-16’s faceplate heat immensely. “Perhaps a flavored lubricant? I have a selection of ones that sensitize the valve and node. I also have a wide variety of vibrators for internal stimulation if you’d like to stimulate your partner's valve while you work your glossa."

“I-I don’t– My partner, he–” D-16 stammered, his servos making stiff gestures as he tried to formulate a proper response. He took a deep breath. “Do you have any… uhm… node vibrators?”

Dipstick nodded, a small grin growing on his face. “We do, indeed! Our bullets are the most popular, but wands are a good investment as well…” Dipstick guided D-16 over to the selection of vibrators for external stimulation and waved a servo. “Please let me know if you need anything else!”

D-16 nodded and released a shaky breath once Dipstick walked out of sight. D-16 looked at the shelf of vibrators, but he did not dare touch any. He had done a bit of his own research before coming in, so he had a rough idea of what to get, but there was such an overwhelming variety of options that he found himself struggling to pick.

D-16 found himself drawn to a purple wand vibrator and slowly reached for it. It was still in the package, but it looked good on the cover of the box. There were a few settings and it lit up on the head, and D-16 decided it was good for what he was looking for.

D-16 glanced around the rest of the store, looking for anything else that might be of interest for himself or Orion. His optics wandered toward the back of the store, where there was a selection of interface accessories. Before he realized his pedes were moving, he was facing the wall and looking at the different items.

There were so many and most of them D-16 did not even know what they did. He saw a few floggers, some blindfolds and gags, but he did not recognize most of the other items. He did, however, find himself glancing at a pair of purple cuffs. He glanced down at the vibrator he had grabbed and noticed that it was a very similar shade of purple.

As D-16 narrowed his optics in contemplation, Dipstick popped back over, clearly having nothing better to do than provide D-16 with assistance. “Ah, those are very popular. It’s a great introduction for couples interested in bondage.”

D-16 nearly jumped at the sound of Dipstick’s voice. He nodded and glanced back at the handcuffs. “They look… fun?”

Dipstick nodded and pulled them off the wall. He glanced at the vibrator D-16 had selected as well and a knowing grin crept up his face. “They’re very fun! Tell you what, I’ll give you a nice deal: if you buy that vibrator and these cuffs, I’ll give you half off the cuffs and throw in a sensitizing lubricant for free! I might even have a purple sensitizer in the back if you’re going for a theme.”

D-16 hesitated, not sure how the cuffs would go over with Orion. He looked again at the vibrator, then the cuffs, and then made his decision.

“Can you tell me a bit more about that sensitizer?”

---

“Pax, where are we going?” D-16 groaned as Orion dragged him along by the servo, leading him through the nearly deserted streets of Iacon.

“It’s a surprise!” Orion insisted. He then grinned, gesturing to the shopping bag D-16 was holding. “If you tell me what’s in the bag I’ll tell you where we’re going.”

D-16’s faceplate heated as he remembered what was in the bag and shook his helm. Orion laughed and tugged on D-16's servo again.

“So secretive! Well, we’re almost there, so get ready!”

It was late, much later than Orion and D-16 were normally out and about. They had the day off the following day, so Orion had decided that it would be a perfect night for them to get out of the living quarters that they shared with the other miners. He had not told D-16 anything about where they were going, so D-16 was entirely in the dark. All he knew was that there was the hinted promise of interfacing, so he was hoping that Orion was not leading him to a random alley… again.

Sharing a living space with the other miners limited their privacy, so it was difficult to even get a few kisses in without someone making a comment. Interfacing was a whole other issue, although they had managed to sneak a few quickies in only semi-public spaces.

The mines had been where they first interfaced when they had managed to sneak away a few times on their breaks. The showers had been the best place so far, and part of what made it so exhilarating had been the riskiness of it. They had also, much to D-16’s chagrin, done it in an alley, which he swore to never do again. But with the way Orion was guiding him around the city, he was getting worried.

Orion, however, then led D-16 around the corner toward one of the hotels in Iacon. Orion turned to D-16 with a grin and gestured his helm to the building. “I figured it might be nice to get away for a night. We don’t have to worry about getting disrupted from recharge, and we can… well, y’know.”

D-16 could feel his intake getting a bit dry as thoughts began to swirl in his mind. He imagined all the different things they had not yet tried, and then thought of what they could do with what he had in the bag. He nodded his helm, returning a smile to Orion. “Oh, I know. Did you already book a room?”

Orion nodded, pulling a small datacard out with a smirk. “Of course, I did! And we’re already checked in, so we can go straight up. Just you and me.”

D-16 wanted to kiss Orion immediately. D-16 wanted his dermas against Orion’s faceplate, against his neck cables, against his valve. D-16 squeezed Orion’s servo and was now leading Orion into the hotel lobby, making Orion laugh as he followed along. D-16 realized once they were by the elevators that he did not know where the room was. Orion chuckled and punched the button.

The two of them entered the elevator when it arrived, and as soon Orion punched in the button for the twelfth floor and the doors closed, D-16 was on him. Orion nearly burst into laughter at D-16’s eagerness, but he was quickly overtaken by a gasp when D-16 placed a servo on his thigh, pulling his leg up as he pressed into him. Orion hit the elevator wall and kissed D-16 back, the elevator finally going up to the twelfth floor while the two of them made out.

“Mmh, Dee– Dee, you’re so–”

The elevator dinged and D-16 quickly pulled away from Orion, watching the door. It opened, but there was no one there. D-16 was confused for a moment before he realized that the elevator had done what it was supposed to and that they were on the twelfth floor. Orion chuckled slyly and squeezed D-16’s aft teasingly, making him hiss.

“Oh, suddenly you’re shy?” Orion quipped.

D-16 grumbled. “I’m not– Don’t tease me, Pax…”

“Or what? You’ll–” Orion gasped when D-16 picked him up, one arm under his knees and the other on his back.

D-16 smirked. “Or I’ll frag you so thoroughly that you can’t walk tomorrow.”

Orion, for once, seemed to be at a loss for words. He stammered with wide optics as D-16 carried him out of the elevator and looked up and down the hallway, unsure of where to go.

“1246,” Orion finally managed to say, staring up at D-16. “The room number.”

D-16 smiled and carried Orion down the hall toward the room. When he came up to the room door, he tilted Orion slightly in his arms so that he could scan the room lock with the datacard and open the door for the two of them. D-16 pushed the door open more with his ped and carried Orion in, taking in the hotel room.

It was so much nicer than the living quarters they were in. There was one berth in the middle of the room, and across from it was a television. The berth was more than big enough for both of them, and it looked much cozier than the standing berths they were used to. The window showed all of Iacon city, which was lit up despite the late night.

Orion tapped D-16’s shoulder, asking him to be put down. D-16 shrugged and tossed him onto the berth, making Orion yelp. “Hey!”

But D-16 was already straddling Orion, kissing him once more. Orion leaned back and cupped D-16’s faceplate, opening his dermas to let D-16’s glossa in. Their glossas danced and D-16 held onto Orion’s hips, squeezing them gently as he moaned into the kiss.

After a few moments, D-16 finally pulled away, giving them both a chance to catch their breath. Orion let one servo lay against his forehelm and he stared up at D-16 with soft optics, his mouth open for more.

“Before we keep going,” D-16 hesitated slightly, glancing at the bag that sat at the foot of the berth. Orion propped himself up on his elbows, noticing where D-16’s optics were looking. D-16 shrugged. “I… I got you something. Do you want to open it?”

Orion beamed and nodded. D-16 handed him the bag and looked away as he began to open it. Orion pulled out the sensitizer first, looking slightly confused until he read the label. He grinned deviously and looked at D-16, who was still averting his gaze. Orion redirected D-16’s face toward his own, forcing him to look at Orion.

“Dee… What exactly are you implying here?”

D-16’s faceplate rushed with heat. “You are so mean.”

Orion laughed and kissed D-16 quickly. He pulled the cuffs out of the bag next, which was what D-16 had been dreading the most. Orion raised an optical ridge, but his grin only widened.

“Oh my, Dee! I didn’t know you had this kind of thing in mind. Are these for me or for you?”

D-16 tried to avert his gaze again, but Orion redirected him again. D-16 huffed. “If you keep acting like this, I’m going to cuff you to the bed and leave.”

Orion hummed. “I think you’d miss me too much.”

Before D-16 could make a proper retort, Orion pulled the vibrator out of the bag. This was where he looked genuinely surprised, glancing at D-16 with wide optics.

“Dee…”

D-16 shifted awkwardly. “I get it if it’s too much, we don’t have to use any of it if you don’t want to. I just figured… I don’t know…”

Orion shook his helm with a grin. “I’m just… Well, I’m sensing you had a certain color scheme in mind when you picked all of this out.”

D-16 put his servos to his faceplate and groaned. “Pax–!”

Orion laughed and pulled D-16’s servos away from his helm to kiss him. “Dee, you know I’m only teasing you! I think tonight is going to be fun… Where should we start?”

D-16 hummed against Orion’s dermas and pulled him in for another kiss. “Lay down and I’ll show you.”

Orion smirked and did as D-16 asked, laying back across the berth. D-16 sat above him on his knees and admired his body for a few moments, drinking in his form until Orion nudged his leg gently with his ped.

D-16 leaned down and began to kiss Orion again, his servos tracing down Orion’s chassis toward his panel, which he palmed lightly until Orion finally opened it. D-16 kissed him for just a little while longer before he began to trail his way down, kissing Orion’s neck cables and his chest. He went down his chassis, gently placing kisses all the way down before finding himself in front of Orion’s valve.

D-16 glanced back up at Orion, who was watching him with soft intent. He lifted his hips gently and D-16 hummed, turning his attention back to Orion’s valve. D-16 pressed a kiss to the inside of Orion’s thigh, one servo on the other thigh as he leaned into the space between his legs.

D-16 began to work his glossa on Orion’s valve, making his breath hitch as he let his helm fall back. He pressed the back of his servo to his dermas, the other curling on the sheets of the berth beneath them.

“D-Dee…”

D-16 gently dragged his glossa up Orion’s valve and kissed his node. Orion shivered and D-16 smiled, pressing one more soft kiss to his node before continuing to trail his glossa along his valve. Orion revved and reached a servo down to grasp D-16’s helm. He moaned softly, biting his derma to keep quiet as D-16 continued.

“I want to hear you, Pax,” D-16 lifted his head for a moment, making Orion whine.

“But what if–”

“What, suddenly you’re shy?” D-16 mocked teasingly, a small grin on his face. When Orion pouted, his grin softened to a smile. “No one will hear us. It’s just the two of us, right? I want to hear every little noise you want to make, Pax. Please…”

D-16 waited until Orion nodded. “Okay, okay… Now can you… y’know…?”

D-16 smirked and leaned back down to Orion’s valve. He kissed his inner thighs a few more times until Orion whined, then began to trail his glossa up his valve. He pressed a kiss to the node before gently lapping at it with the tip of his glossa. Orion’s hips twitched and he moaned, louder this time. D-16 smiled in satisfaction and pressed his glossa against his node, his servo gently squeezing Orion’s inner thigh.

Orion let his servos find D-16’s helm again and he leaned into D-16’s mouth, begging for more. D-16 obliged, closing his dermas around Orion’s node as he gave it a gentle suck before dragging the flat of his glossa across it.

Orion moaned softly as he held onto D-16’s helm, his own helm falling back as he let his thighs tighten around D-16. “Oh, Primus–”

D-16 gauged how close Orion was to overload by his quickened breathing, his soft moaning, and the grip he had on D-16’s helm. He kept up the pace with his glossa until Orion let out a cry of overload, then gently lapped at his valve and node until Orion had ridden the waves of it out. He slunk back into the berth slightly and D-16 climbed up over his body, nuzzling his face into the crook of Orion’s neck while his servos explored his chassis.

“I can’t wait to hear more of you tonight,” D-16 praised softly, nipping at Orion’s neck cables. He cupped Orion’s faceplate and leaned in to kiss him, separating his dermas with his glossa as Orion moaned into him.

“Mmh– Oh! Do you want to try any of your shiny new toys?” Orion chuckled, gesturing to the sensitizer, cuffs, and vibrator that sat on the edge of the berth. D-16 nodded, having forgotten about them after being caught up with Orion’s valve.

“What do you want to try first?” D-16 asked, looking at Orion expectantly. Orion sat up, propping himself on his elbows as D-16 gently rubbed his thigh. Orion picked up the vibrator, looking at D-16 with a small smirk.

“I don’t suppose you already charged this?” Orion chuckled, looking for the button to turn it on. He found it and held it down and the vibrator began glowing and vibrating at a lower speed. “Oh my, Dee! Aren’t you prepared?”

D-16 averted his optics in mild embarrassment. “How do you want to use it? I could use it on you, or… I don’t know.”

Orion rolled his optics and shook his helm. “As much as I would love it, I can’t have you pleasuring just me all night. Why don’t we share it?”

D-16 raised an optical ridge. “Share it? How would–”

Orion smirked and spread his legs, gesturing for D-16 to do the same. D-16 did so and Orion scooted closer to him, putting one leg over D-16’s hip while the other went under D-16’s other leg. His valve was pressed against D-16’s panel, which he was waiting to open.

Orion chuckled. “It would be helpful if you opened your panel.” D-16 grumbled and did so, his faceplate heating at the fact that he had not done so earlier. Orion cooed at him with a small grin. “Such a pretty valve… Next time, I want to have my mouth on it.”

“Pax…” D-16 whined, making Orion laugh softly.

Orion rubbed D-16’s inner thigh, making his valve ache with anticipation. “Do you want to use the sensitizer as well? It might be interesting to try it.”

D-16 shrugged. “If you want to try it… It was a freebie from the shop.”

Orion chuckled. “Might as well make the most of it then, right?”

Orion uncapped the sensitizer and poured some into his servo. He gently lathered D-16’s node and valve, making him moan softly at the touch. It was a bit cold, but it was warmed by Orion’s touch. Orion spread it over his own node and valve, inhaling quickly as he spread it around.

As soon as they were covered in the sensitizer, Orion picked up the vibrator. D-16 watched as Orion took the vibrator and put it between their valves, making D-16 flinch at the sudden contact it had with his node. It was a colder touch than he was used to on his node, but he was not able to think about it for long before Orion turned on the vibration and made them both gasp in surprise.

“Ah–!” Orion gasped, nearly dropping the wand as he leaned back on his other servo.

“Nghn–!” D-16 lurched forward with a moan as he held onto Orion’s thigh for support, squeezing it slightly.

The sensitizer made D-16’s node tingle wildly with pleasure, which only intensified with the vibrator. He looked up and saw Orion biting his derma before letting out another moan. He looked at D-16 and smiled, clicking the button again to speed up the vibration. D-16 gasped, letting out a moan that was louder than he expected.

D-16 felt himself getting close to overload already, but they had hardly even started. Orion looked to be in a similar state, panting and moaning as he watched D-16 with heavy lidded optics.

“Mmh– Hah! Dee, it feels– Oh–!” Orion whined, clearly close to overload as he pushed himself closer to D-16 and into the wand.

The pressure from the wand increased as Orion leaned forward, pushing D-16 into overload. D-16 let out a gasp as he overloaded. “Ah– Ah! Pax!”

The vibrator was so intense after D-16 overloaded that he almost felt the need to pull away, but he did not until Orion had also overloaded and ridden it out. He quickly pulled the vibrator away, which was slick with their lubricant and the sensitizer, and turned it off.

The two of them were panting heavily after the intensity of their overload. They stared at each other until Orion chuckled softly. “That– That was–”

“Intense,” D-16 filled in for Orion, making him laugh softly. He set the vibrator down on the berth and leaned in to kiss D-16, their legs still tangled together as their valves rubbed against each other.

D-16 gasped into the kiss, his node still sensitive and tingling after the overload. Orion hummed against his dermas, shifting his hips slightly so their valves were no longer touching, and continued to kiss him softly.

D-16 let his servos wander down Orion’s chassis and squeeze his aft when they found it. Orion whined and D-16 only groaned in response, squeezing it again.

“Mmh– Dee– Dee, wait…”

“Hmm? What is it?” D-16 pulled away, watching Orion intently.

Orion grinned sheepishly, looking down at the berth. “We still have one thing left to try…”

D-16 followed Orion’s gaze to the handcuffs and chuckled. “You still have energy? What have you been eating, Pax?”

Orion shrugged. “Not enough of you, unfortunately.”

D-16 sputtered and Orion laughed, untangling their legs and reaching for the cuffs. While D-16 recovered from Orion’s tease, Orion picked up the cuffs and inspected them with glee.

“You still didn’t tell me who’s getting cuffed,” Orion teased, dangling the cuffs in front of D-16’s face. “Do you want to wear them while I frag you? Or do you want to see me in them, laid out on the bed while you do what you want with me?”

D-16’s faceplate heated, and he felt his spike pressurize under his panel at the thought of Orion on the bed, sprawled out, ready to take him. That had been his initial intention in buying them, but he could tell that Orion was interested in both options.

D-16 took the cuffs from Orion, trying to keep his expression level as he gestured for Orion’s servos. Orion grinned, holding his servos out like he was being arrested. As D-16 put the cuffs on his wrist, he leaned forward into D-16’s audials. “Do what you want with me.”

D-16 revved. He pushed Orion back down on the bed and forced his servos above his head, making Orion chuckle in amusement. He put the handcuffs around the top frame of the berth and then hesitated around Orion’s other wrist.

“You’re sure this is okay?”

Orion rolled his optics and nodded his head with a smile. “Of course, Dee. I’d tell you if I was uncomfortable with it. Now can you finish cuffing me so you can frag me?”

D-16 nodded eagerly and clipped the cuff around Orion’s other wrist, letting his servos trail down Orion’s arms. Orion shivered and giggled softly, but D-16 continued to trace his servos down to Orion’s chest, watching him intently.

Every inch of him was so beautiful, so enticing. He could hardly wait another second before getting inside of him.

Orion, apparently, could not wait another second either. He cleared his intake with a small grin on his face.

“If you keep admiring me like that, I’m going to get all flustered.”

D-16 felt his faceplate heat, but he quickly brushed his own embarrassment aside in order to tease Orion. “It’s hard not to admire perfection.”

Orion smiled softly and averted his gaze. “Dee…”

“I’ve never wanted much,” D-16 continued, letting one servo trail down Orion’s chassis to his hip. He gave it a gentle squeeze. “But I want you so much it feels unreal that I get to have you. In fact, I think I’ve been so spoiled by you that you’ve become a need.” D-16 cupped Orion’s faceplate and pressed a kiss to his dermas. “I need you almost as much as I need energon to stay alive. I want to be with you almost as much as I need to be with you. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Orion Pax.”

D-16 could feel Orion’s faceplate growing warm, and he smiled softly before kissing his dermas once more. Orion whined into the kiss and D-16 pulled away, watching him with a small smirk.

“You can’t say all that stuff while I can’t touch you, Dee,” Orion whined, tugging lightly on the handcuffs. “It’s not fair!”

D-16 chuckled. “Well, then how about I touch you to make up for it? Where should I start?”

Orion huffed, lifting his hips slightly. “You know damn well where you should start.”

D-16 obliged. He opened his panel, his spike pressurized and already leaking lubricant as it pulsed with charge. Orion gazed at D-16 with a small smirk and shifted his hips, ready to take D-16’s spike in its entirety. D-16 placed a servo on Orion’s hip and slowly began to put his spike in. Orion stiffened slightly but relaxed under D-16’s gentle touch. As soon as he was all the way in, Orion released the breath he had been holding and D-16 slowly began to thrust.

D-16 huffed as he felt the tightness of Orion’s valve. He was slick with lubricant from his first two overloads, which made his spike slide inside him with ease. D-16 leaned down to kiss Orion while he thrust rhythmically into him, holding his aft with one servo while the other kept D-16 supported on the berth.

“Dee– Oh, oh– Don’t stop–!” Orion moaned loudly, any previous worry of being heard going completely out the window as D-16 thrust into him.

“Pax you– you feel so good–” D-16 panted, moaning softly.

D-16 took Orion’s aft and pushed him up slightly so he could angle his spike further into him. Orion gasped out a moaning cry and tugged lightly on the handcuffs, which only made D-16 want him even more.

D-16 chuckled softly through his huffing and moaning. “Still enjoying the cuffs, Pax?”

Orion whined and tugged on them. “I wish I– I wish I could hold you–”

D-16 almost laughed. “So you could scratch up my plating again?”

D-16 thrust deeper into Orion and he threw his helm back with a loud moan before he could protest D-16’s teasing. D-16 gave Orion’s aft a soft squeeze, making him whine and huff.

“Pax, I’m close–” D-16 panted as he began to thrust faster, making Orion gasp and shift his hips to be closer to D-16, wanting to take in more of his spike.

“I’m– I’m almost– Ahh!” Orion threw his helm back as he overloaded, tugging on the cuffs tightly. D-16 was overloaded soon after, his lubricant filling Orion as he leaned down beside him, panting.

D-16 slowly pulled out of Orion after a few moments, his lubricant spilling out onto the berth sheets. Orion tugged lightly on the handcuffs, still in bliss after his third overload of the night, and watched D-16 intently.

“Dee… Can you uncuff me now?”

D-16 put a servo to his chin and furrowed his optical ridge. “Hmm… I’ll consider it… Give me a good reason?”

“Uhm… you love me?”

D-16 shrugged. “Good enough.”

D-16 uncuffed Orion, setting the handcuffs aside before falling next to Orion as he wrapped his arms around him.

“That was incredible, Dee…”

“It really was…” D-16 agreed, staring at Orion’s optics as he gently caressed his face. “We should get a hotel room more often.”

Orion laughed and nodded his helm in agreement. The two of them chatted and giggled for a little while longer, exchanging kisses and caresses until they eventually fell asleep.

#transformers #transformers one #maccadam #tf one #d 16 #d 16 x orion pax #orion pax #optimus prime #megaop #megop #megatron #apples words #spicy apples

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inbred-mothman · 2 months ago

Note

bro steb is my favorite background character lol. love my boy. also i hc him to be selectively mute <3

Now give me your steb headcanons or else *grabs TNT* :D /hj

How does it feel to be my first ask? Jk ik it feels amazing /j

Anyway, more Steb HCs below the cut :3

After the war, officers got an optional few months off. Steb took it, understanding how important it'd be for his health, but the time isn't spent the way it was intended to be. He spends the time still training and working out, volunteering in the medical field, and just reflecting on everything that has happened.

He is EXTREMELY hurt about Maddie's betrayal. As Enforcers, their trust is a heavy thing to have, especially having been in the strike team and positioned together. Their trust was life or death in so many instances. He saved her, and she was willing to just let him die at spear point. She manipulated him. So it's not that out there to think that he'd have some subconscious trust issues. Both having the fear that they'll die or the fear that they don't mean it when they try to gain his trust.

He tried to hand in his badge after finding out that Maddie wasn't who he thought she was. She was partially the reason he was promoted to the strike team and after that, so it doesn't feel deserved. Of course the station didn't accept it though.

Now onto some more.. Light hearted ones

He smells like petrichor

His frills are more sensitive than the rest of the skin in that area

He has 2 more sets of gills, one set on his collar bones and another along his ribs

He likes bitter things like dark chocolate and black coffee, however he also really likes tart things

Hes good at cooking, I don't think he's like.. a chef or anything but he's good at following a recipe

Steb is 100% the type to, while walking down a sidewalk or something, tap you on the opposite shoulder and snicker when you turn to look

Hes always got to be doing something for someone, his love language is acts of service. You're cold? He immediately gets up to get you a blanket. Headache? Have some ibuprofen. Tired? He's taking care of everything that day.

I hope you enjoy my ramblings

#arcane #arcane season 2 #steb #steb arcane

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cassayeee · 1 year ago

Text

IN THE FALLING SNOW (CORIOLANUS SNOW X FEM!READER)

warnings: this contains spoilers for The Ballads of Songbirds and Snakes, so read at your own risk. furthermore, this is smut - coriolanus snow smut. expect porn with a bit of plot, degradation, spitting, throat fucking, p in v, virginity taking, oral (m and f receiving), marking, idk just all of that good stuff. point is: mdni.

notes: this is like, really quickly proofread (and almost 8k words lol oops) , so apologies for any grammatical mistakes that pop up. also, this is the first time I've ever actually written smut so bear with me here. anyway, enjoy!

You were probably one of the only souls in Panem that knew the truth about the Snows. Shrouded in deceit of their true wealth status and fear of the truth being sung across the Capitol, you held onto their secret more closely to your chest than any of your own.

Having grown up on the Corso, practically next-door neighbors to the Snows in a penthouse befitting your own status, it wasn’t uncommon for you to be caught spending time between yours and the cousins almost every day. So much time, that the high society of the Capitol could almost always count on the L/N’s and Snow’s appearing at any event with the other in tow.

That was, of course, until the rebellion. While your parents had decided on siding alongside the president, the Snow’s had decided on another course, driving a wedge right through the once unbreakable bond between the two. And once the bombings had come and gone, you still had all your affluence and one less mother, but the Snow’s had found themselves even worse off.

However, you and Coriolanus Snow didn’t let any of that deter your own relationship.

---

“Coryo! Come on! Punctuality is a dish best not served cold.” You jeered over to your friend who had just exited his front door onto the wide and ever-expanding avenue.

His blue eyes locked onto your own as he made his way over to your car, the Avoxes in the front seat doing nothing more than staring straight ahead, ready to make the trip over to the Academy. As he entered, you made note of his blouse that could only have been touched by Tigris’ clever hand.

“Wow. Did Tigris do this for you? It’s beautiful.” Snow watched you dote on his reaping attire as he nodded ‘yes’ to your question.

“It was one of my father’s.” he finally replied as you contently sat back further into your family car’s seat.

“So,” you started. “How are you feeling about your mentorship for the Games this year?”

He raised a brow at you as he pondered your question. “In all honesty, I’m just hoping for a good tribute selection. 1 or 2 would be preferable, but even 4 or 11 would suffice. Someone with a chance of succeeding, I suppose.”

You inclined your head through his reasoning. It made sense, you had always known Coryo to be a competitive man – wanting nothing more than the control to make things go as he pleased.

“Well, with your charm and wits, I’m sure you could make any contender into a victor.”

---

And, oh, how right you were. Watching your Coryo more than triumph over his mentorship and even getting his tribute to win the Hunger Games had your own pride swelling in turn. This was all he ever wanted. To have his reputation goldened and his University spot secured, you couldn’t wait to see how he would blossom in the coming years.

What you were less than happy about, however, was how closely he and that District 12 girl had become. Sharing a picnic in that rat-infested zoo? Going to her for problems that he used to come to you about? Oh, your ego took a bruising after that.

Was she there for him after he lost his parents? No.

Was she there for him as his fortune declined? No.

Was she there to sneak food over to him to make sure the family didn’t die from starvation? No.

Was she there to hold him at night when he couldn’t sleep even after attempting to find solace in his mother’s compact? No.

What did she do? Sing a little song and twirl in her rainbow dress? Oh, please. You knew a flirt when you saw one, and did she ever fit the bill.

A part of you had even hoped that she died in the Games. Easy. Out of their lives forever and what was the biggest problem after that? Getting Coryo to University? With a little convincing you were sure you could’ve gotten your own father to sponsor him. Really, he needed to get over his little conviction with the Snow’s. It’s not like he didn’t owe Crassus more than that.

But besides that, you felt like you were losing your best friend. Had you been in love with him for years hoping he’d return your affections? Of course. Were you perfectly comfortable staying his friend and supporting him even so? I mean, not really, but sooner or later he would have realized that you were all he’d ever need.

If only that stupid little songbird would just fly away.

---

Arriving home from the Academy after the end of the Games, your feelings were twisted in a knot. More than anything you just wanted to climb into your room and sulk or find a way to get your father to cause an “accident” for that Lucy Gray Baird on her way back to 12, whatever would be more appealing at the time.

But, you knew you had to get over to the Snow’s to congratulate Coryo. Jealousy aside, you were still so proud of all he’d done and wanted to make sure he knew that.

Once you entered the penthouse, Tigris greeted you with a big smile and an even bigger hug.

“Oh, Y/N,” she sobbed. “I can’t believe he actually did it!”

You couldn’t help but fall further into her hug, genuinely happy in her arms. She was right. You were being selfish thinking about him and the girl at a time like this. Tomorrow you could be bitter all you want, but tonight, tonight was about Coriolanus Snow.

Helping her and the Grandma’am set up their old party favors and arranging the cake you brought over for him, you couldn’t help but wait for his arrival. Not being part of the mentorship, you had left as soon as the Games concluded allowing for Coryo to debrief with his fellow members and any newscasters looking for an interview.

Hearing the door turn, you all jumped up in celebration as you saw him enter. Noticing immediately that something was wrong with him, you dropped your arms as he burst into tears. Shocked, you started to make your way over to him as he ran into your arms, burying his face into the crook of your neck as he began to tell you about Highbottom and the Games.

And that’s when your world came crashing down around you.

---

You found yourself in Coryo’s room as he had his head placed in your lap, arms wrapped tight around your legs as you ran your hands through his hair. A position the two of you hadn’t found yourselves in for quite some time, but one that you both found nothing but comfort in.

“Maybe they’ll change their minds. Realize that losing you as a Capitol citizen is more a punishment onto themselves than for you.” You attempted to reason with him. To give him any sort of hope.

He only turned his head in your lap to face you. “Maybe if Highbottom didn’t hate me, but this feels more personal than even just being caught for cheating.”

“What about Gaul?” you tried, combing through his curly locks. “She seemed to have really taken a liking to you with all that extra essay work and singling you out whenever she could.”

“Gaul is certifiably insane and even more like her mutations than you’d realize.” He rebuked. “No, she wouldn’t even let me into the Citadel to try and reason with her. This is my only option.”

You both were silent for a stretch until you broke the silence with a hiccup. Feeling your body start to shake, Coryo rose from your lap to see you silently crying into your free hand. He reached for your head to bring into his chest, allowing you to release your emotions onto him.

“Oh, my Y/N.” The way he softly cooed your name made you latch your arms around him and cry even harder.

With a break in your hysterical state, you retreated your head away from his now tear-stained shirt and looked up at him.

“I don’t want you to go.” You confessed. “I want you to stay here. With Tigris. With the Grandma’am. With me. Please.”

His gaze softened while studying your features. He brushed back your slightly sweaty hair from your forehead as he placed a loving kiss upon it. You closed your eyes in the tender moment, never wanting it to end.

“I’ll always come back to you.” He asserted. “I promise.”

Trying your best not to lose your composure again, you buried yourself back into him, hiding your face from view. Tangling yourselves together, you attempted to find a semblance of sleep in his embrace, knowing that this may be the last intimate moment you get with him in years.

Eyes falling shut and breathing becoming labored, Coryo watched as you drifted asleep in his arms. His Y/N. His beautiful, intelligent, loyal Y/N. He knew he should have kissed you before. Told you that he’d only ever want to fall asleep in your arms, no matter what the news made of his and Lucy Gray’s relationship. But the good man in him knew that would have just made things worse for you, after he left, and he needed you to stay strong and become the powerful woman you were born to be.

And the not-so-good man in him reveled at the fact that you would always ache for more from him. Waiting until he returned. Loyal until the end. And if he returned to see you with someone else? Well, that would be sure to be remedied quickly. Because, as you were both severely aware, Snow lands on top.

---

It had been months since you’d last seen him. And every day still hurt as much as the last. While you did receive letters from him, it was never the same as having him here. In person. Across the avenue and readily available at your beck and call.

With the worsening state of the Grandma’am and Tigris’ situation, you tried to help as much as you could, but your father strictly forbade anymore spending on the two after Coryo’s departure. He even threatened to send you to the Citadel for a “long-term internship” if only to keep you away. So, all you could do was watch the further deterioration of your family.

On a late day in September, you and your father were preparing to leave for the University for a pre-semester gala, attended by those in current attendance, and new studies joining in just a few days.

You smoothed down your blood-red, pin-straight formal gown, backless with a slit rising just up to your upper thigh, viewing yourself in your large vanity mirror white fixing your satin gloves. A tulle train adorned the back of your gown, wrapping around your waist and sparkling slightly with the gems attacked throughout it. Not as eccentric as some of the other Capitol citizens, you kept a rather minimalistic style, but you looked good, like, really fucking good. Hair styled in an intricate updo and makeup accentuating your features, you couldn’t help but enjoy your reflection. What was wrong with a bit of self-indulgence?

It’s not that you would describe yourself as vain or vapid, but rather know the worth in your own beauty. If you were to be a woman in a wolf-den of men, playing to your strengths and charms would be the only way to get anywhere, besides your self-assured intelligence, of course.

Breaking you out of your trance, you heard your father call from the foyer that the car had made itself around and was ready to depart. Taking a deep breath and checking your appearance once more, you began your trek into the snake pit.

---

Just as you had suspected, the hall was full of high-class society goers, along with many of the staff and faculty of the University. This was your time to solidify past Academy connections as well as create new ones as the environment called for. Knowing people was everything. And knowing people liked you was even better.

Making your rounds with your father, you stopped to chat with some of his associates and peers to begin your night. Already growing bored with the conversation, you stopped a passing Avoxes to grab a glass of posca to solicit a light buzz, making the night infinitely better.

Excusing yourself from the group to take a breather of business talk, you began to make your own way around to speak to some of your fellow Academy graduates among some influential figures in the University.

Currently speaking to Hilarius Heavensbee, the two of you were catching up on what you had both done after graduation, among small talk of the hushed Hunger Games.

“No, my parents were still pissed that my tribute only made it to 8th place, but how was that my fault?” he exclaimed. “The girl was already on her deathbed by the time she made it into the arena, and I couldn’t send her a miracle on a drone.”

You giggled at his exasperated state, slightly because of the posca you still sipped on.

“At least you got to mentor,” you bemused. “Fucking Persephone Price beat me out for a spot, so all I had was a good seat and an ability to bet.”

“Oh?” he said in a teasing lilt. “And did you place any bets my way, Y/N?”

You caught his eyes looking you up and down in a lustful gaze. You were always friendly with Hilarius back in the Academy, but never entertained much more than that, since your heart had always belonged to him.

But, as your body grew warm with the posca and need to feel wanted, you couldn’t help yourself from taking a small step closer to Hilarius, though still a respectable distance given the circumstances, while you dedicated a small giggle to him.

“Now, Hilarius,” you remarked. “If you wanted me to place my bets on you, you should have given me a little bit more to work with.”

He rolled his eyes at your slight jab, even knowing you were only teasing.

“Just because my tribute didn’t know how to please a crowd, doesn’t mean I don’t.”

The slight innuendo didn’t slip past you even in your hazy state. If anything, it only caused you to peer at him through your long lashes, blinking slowly as you licked your bottom lip. Before either of you could speak again, a murmur rushed through the crowd as you noticed people staring toward the entrance of the room. Turning to see what the commotion was about, you almost let the glass slip through your hands as you saw him staring right at you.

Standing shocked and immovable, all you could see was him, completely forgetting about Hilarius and your prior engagement. It was as if the commune around you was nothing more than a backdrop to your reunion. You watched as he greeted faculty and society members alike, never moving from your spot as he continuously flicked his eyes over to you.

He was back. Your Coryo was actually here. Suited in a black ensemble, he looked more handsome than you even remembered. How was that possible? He didn’t say anything in his last letter about returning home. Last you remember, he was still waiting back on his officer test results, so why the fuck is he at the University gala?

Whether it took minutes or hours, you kept your spot and waited for him to make his way over. And as soon as his full attention was on you, you couldn’t tell if you were going to sob, faint, or both at once. Long strides took him over to you, where he tilted his head down to view your frame.

Still stuck in a stupor, the best you could get out was, “H-hi.”

His mouth quirked up in a half-smile as he returned his own “Hello, Y/N.”

Your name flowing from his lips finally broke you out of the shocked state you were in as you grabbed his hand and made your way over to one of the balconies hidden behind a large curtain. With the fresh air giving you some reprieve from the heat your body was melting in, you enclosed him in a hug burying your face in his chest. Inhaling his rose scent, all your nerves relaxed. Something only he could ever do.

“Oh, Coryo,” you sighed. “I missed you so much. Every single day I missed you. What are you doing here? Why are you –“ Finally looking up to face him, all you saw was anger painted on his face.

Furrowing your brows, confusion clouded your features as you couldn’t understand why he was looking at you like that.

Jaw ticking, he stayed silent.

“Coryo?” you cooed like a child in trouble.

Something about the way you spoke his name finally had him relaxing his muscles, but still had a hard gaze on you. Quickly looking back over his shoulder to make sure no one was looking your way, he walked you backward toward the rail of the balcony. Arms on either side of you, he closed you in so that the only thing you could see was him.

“I get home,” he started. “Expecting nothing but a warm welcome from my dear Y/N, and what do I see? You looking at that Heavensbee trash like you wanted him to fuck you. Like you wanted him to touch what is mine.”

Surprise crossed your face as you placed your hands on the lapels of his suit jacket.

“W-What?” you stuttered. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, don’t play coy with me, Y/N. You think I don’t know what you were trying to do with him? Don’t forget who knows you better than you know yourself.”

He looked at you with a mixture of disgust and thinly veiled hate, like he wasn’t happy to see you at all. Like he didn’t miss you at all.

And you got mad.

“I don’t see how that is any of your business, Coriolanus.” You spat his name. “As it so happens, I’m a woman with womanly needs, and seeing as I can do as I please, I could go home with him right now and there wouldn’t be a thing you could do about it.”

He sneered at you with a laugh that had no hint of humor behind it. Tightening his grip on the rails he lowered his head down to your ear as you sucked in a quick breath of air at his closeness.

“Oh, Y/N,” he muttered. “You and I both know he’s not what you want. He just wants to get his dick wet and you, love, want mine shoved down your throat.”

Trying your best not to let him get to you, you utterly failed as a tiny whimper escaped the back of your throat and your thighs began to rub together.

Chuckling, Coryo lifted his head again to view your disheveled state. He caressed your neck with a callused hand, rubbing his thumb across your soft spot before grabbing the back of your neck and pulling your mouth close to his.

“He will not have you, Y/N L/N. You are solely mine, and whether I have to speak it, fuck it, or brand it into you, you will remember that. Now,” he released his grip on you. “Say your goodbyes, besides that imbecile Heavensbee, acquire your coat and meet me outside so I can finally stop this tiring back-and-forth and take what is rightfully mine.”

Pure lust layering over any coherent thoughts, all you could do was nod as you smoothed back down your dress and hoped that the cool air was helping your reddened cheeks from becoming too noticeable. Telling your father, you weren’t feeling well, he allowed you to take the car home and let you retire early for the night. Unknowingly to him, Coryo Snow followed you into the vehicle, one hand firmly planted on your bare thigh the entire ride.

---

Between the University to now, your heart rate had increased significantly from Coryo’s actions. You weren’t sure what exactly had gotten into him or what had happened to him since you last said your goodbyes, but the aggressiveness he showed you was an extreme you had never seen before.

Though, you couldn’t really be upset. After all, he had finally admitted to you what you had wanted to hear for almost two decades: he wanted you. And that excited you to no end.

As Coryo watched you fiddle in your seat, he couldn’t help but smirk thinking about how you were acting for him. A few sentences and you were reduced to mush in his hands, willing to do anything to get him back to your room. And it’s not like he was any better.

After his extravaganza in District 12, he realized just how much you meant to him. None of those deplorable District filth specimens could hold a candle to you. His Y/N. His pretty girl who would do anything for him and who he would do anything for.

How it angered him to see you talking to Heavensbee – like he was worth even a glance from you. You were supposed to wait for him, to be a good little girl, and refuse any suitors who tried to have their way with you. And you, you with your ‘womanly needs’ like anyone else would be able to take care of you like he could. No. No, he would make sure that after tonight you would remember who the fuck owns you.

---

After dismissing your driver, you made your way into the penthouse across from the Snows, opening the door and removing your coat, gloves, and shoes at the entrance. Coryo followed suit by unbuttoning his jacket and slipping off his loafers right by yours. Together. Yours and his – as they always should be.

Turning back around to face him, you saw the anger had faded a bit from his features, but a crease still lined in between his brows. He raised his hands to cup your face as he lowered his lips to yours.

This is heaven and I’m dead, you thought to yourself, still in disbelief that this was happening to you. You grabbed his own face in return with newfound enthusiasm as he groaned into your mouth, happy to have you reciprocating his own unhinged lust.

Tongues battling for dominance, you felt him tip your head upwards so he could completely devour your mouth – no question that he was the one in charge. Whimpering into him, he broke the kiss for just a second to see your fluttering eyelids open to him. Blue eyes peering down at you, he gripped open your jaw, spitting into your mouth.

“Swallow.” He commanded. And you happily obliged.

Placing his mouth on yours once more, he lowered himself to grip you behind the knees and lifted you around his waist. Dutifully responding, you wrapped your legs around as he began the trek to your bedroom, spit drooling from both your mouths as if you never wanted to be free from the other.

As he entered your room, you were becoming hotter by the second, needing to get this damned dress off of you. As he set you down on the edge of the bed, his nimble fingers reached behind you to slowly pull the straps down your arms, drawing out the action. He removed his mouth to quickly reattach it to your shoulder, following the line of your dress removal.

Getting to your elbows, you swiftly pulled your arms from between the strap openings, bearing your chest to him. Dilated eyes latched onto your breasts, with his mouth ferociously following suit. You moaned loudly into the room, encouraging him to latch his lips onto your nipple, running his teeth along the perked bud. Not wanting to leave one unattended, he lifted his hand to squeeze and tease your other breast, switching between the two as he saw fit.

“Fuck,” he groaned out as he pulled away. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

You whined at the confession. Wanting more, more, more of him. He chuckled.

Finally, slipping the rest of your dress from your body, Coryo growled as you saw you had no undergarments on. The amusement all lost from his face.

He slid his hand around your throat, putting a light amount of pressure on it as he pushed you into the bed. Your own hands went to grip around his wrist, hoping to relieve yourself somewhat of the constraint.

“The fuck, Y/N. What,” he snarked. “Are you some District whore begging for any scrap of dick you can get? Huh? Is that it?”

You attempted to shake your head as he still held you by the neck. “No?” he bemused. “Because walking around with this pretty pussy out on display doesn’t seem like something a Capitol purebred does.”

“Please, Coryo,” you squeaked out. His words were getting to you, along with the pressure still being applied to your neck, adding to your growing wetness. Attempting any chance at receiving friction, you rubbed your thighs together, drawing his eyes down to your ministrations.

“Awe,” he tutted. “Does my sweet little whore need some relief? Is that it?”

He cocked his head to the side, waiting for your impatient nod to come. As it did, he removed his hands from your throat. Feeling your release, you sat up to watch as he unbuttoned his dress shirt in front of you.

“Hmm. And what makes you think you deserve it?” He continued undoing each of the buttons while he raised a brow waiting for your reply.

You looked at him with a pout, widening your legs apart to give him a good view of your glistening pussy.

“Please, Coryo,” you begged once more. “I promise I’ve been good to you. Never even touched another man. Only ever thought of you. Only ever wanted you.”

He discarded his shirt as he listened to your own confessions.

“Only ever me?” he started working on his belt. “Tell me, love, did you think of me when you touched that dirty pussy at night? When you’d fuck yourself on your own fingers, disappointed they couldn’t fill you up enough?”

You were practically salivating at his words, voraciously shaking your head in agreement. You watched as he slipped his pants and socks off, only standing before you in his briefs. Looking low, you could see the bulge hiding behind the article of clothing, just begging to be set free.

Rising to rest on your knees, you looked up to him, eyes urging him to come closer. Doing as you so preciously asked, he towered over you, caressing your face. You practically purred in his hands, nuzzling further into them.

With your own hands free, you started palming at his covered cock. Coryo closed his eyes, pushing himself further into your reach. Enjoying the way you were making him feel, you felt the overwhelming urge to show him just how much you missed him.

“I want to taste you.” You pleaded to him, and his eyes immediately shot to yours as you began lowering the waistband of his trousers. He had an amused look on his face once more, watching his adorable little unsullied pet want to please him. With zero reservations, he let you do as you pleased.

With newfound confidence, you set his aching cock free. It stood straight like a good soldier – with an angry red tip that was begging for your orders. He was larger than anything you previously experienced – not that you’d ever admit that to your Coryo. However, you didn’t actually get much further than oral activities with your former rendezvous’, hoping and praying that Coryo would be the one to truly mark your body as his. And thank fuck for that.

Bringing your attention back to your current situation, precum was pooling at the tip as you wet your lips in hunger. Gripping the base, you brought your mouth down to give kitten licks to savor his arousal, slowly starting to pump his cock in your hand. He groaned as you continued to give him just enough for stimulation, but not enough to bring him closer to that sweet relief.

“Don’t fucking tease me, Y/N.” he snarled. Grinning at his behavior, you finally enclosed your mouth around his member, eliciting a low moan from him as you took what you could into your throat. Slurping and sucking, the lewd sounds you were making only drove him further towards release.

Wanting to be good for him – only him – you hollowed your cheeks to attempt to take all those lovely eight inches from top to bottom. Breathing through your nose and working your way closer to the hair at the base of his dick, Coryo lost all semblance of his self-control as you sheathed his entire length in your mouth.

Tearing your already loosening hair free from its previously styled updo, he replaced the pins and trinkets with his own hand, wrapping the strands around and pulling your head back so he could fuck into it.

“Fucking hell. Should’ve –“ He took a deep breath as your throat constricted around him. “Fuck. Should’ve done this years ago. You feel so good.”

You moaned around him, the vibrations bringing him even closer to that sweet peak. Letting him do as you pleased, tears pooled in your eyes from the abuse, but you loved every second of it. Having him lose his precious control around you was the biggest prize you could win.

And all that control was lost in the moment he finally hit his peak. Shoving his dick as far as he could into your mouth, he released every last drop of his spend into you. As he pulled out of you, you greedily swallowed everything he left in your spit-riddled mouth.

Coming down from his high, he flared his nose at you, watching you gulp up any remnants of his seed. He quickly gripped your jaw and pulled you close to his face. Aching from the brutal pace of his hips and now the snake-like vice he had on you, your jaw would sure to be sore for the next couple of days. Yet still, you whimpered up at him.

“Who else did you let do that to you?” Shaking your head, you tried to plead in your actions that you hadn’t – not trusting your own voice to keep your lies hidden. He would know as soon as you opened your mouth anyway.

“No one? You expect me to believe that?” He was growing angrier by the second. “Do you take me for a fool, Y/N?”

“No!” you immediately pleaded. You never wanted him to think you thought ill of him – not when he was your whole world.

“Then tell me.” His hold tightened. “Tell me so I can fucking ruin their meaningless lies for ever touching what doesn’t belong to them.”

You tried to shake your head again, but he held you still. His eyes bore into your own waiting for a reply. Realizing you weren’t going to mislead him any longer, you caved.

“Felix and Pup.” With eyes narrowing, his mouth lifted into a furious grimace. He threw your head backward as you hit the mattress in a puff. You took a deep breath and watched as he began to kneel on the floor by your bed, gripping under your thighs and pulling you until you hit the edge of the bed.

Inches away from your cunt, you could feel his maddened huffs of hot air escape from his mouth and onto you. Running a single finger through your slick, you gasped at the stimulation and threw your head back. Your fingers tangled in the sheets of your bed.

“You let those ignorant, dull bastards touch you?” He spat out. You lifted your head just enough to look at him before you felt him continue to play with your growing wetness, causing you to drop your head back down once more.

Not knowing what to say, you just continued to lay there, hoping that he’d continue to give you any sort of friction on your pleading pussy. Unamused by your silence, he stopped his musings and leaned back. You groaned into the air as you rose your head again.

“Yes.” You admitted. “But it didn’t mean anything! Please, Coryo. You know I’ve only ever needed you.” Attempting to play into his ego, you hoped that he would just get over it and go back to touching you.

“Yeah?” he said, still not touching you. “Then why should I even bother with a slut like you? Whoring yourself out to anyone who looks at you, huh?”

Getting fed up with still not being touched you threw your legs around his head, locking them at the ankles. Glaring down at him, he looked entertained at your angry state, even while still being in his own.

“Yeah?” you mocked back. “And what about you, Coriolanus?”

He raised a brow at your words, silently allowing you to continue your taunt.

“Whoring yourself out to District trash? At least I had the decency to suck a clean dick. What did you expect when you were running around with your precious little –“

Rolling your eyes back, your words died on your tongue as his own ran a strip up your now dripping pussy. Your legs attempted to close around his head, but his large, veined hands kept them apart.

Forgetting about whatever it was that you were mad about before, you started rubbing yourself on his face, whimpering every time his nose caught your clit. Without warning, he entered one of his long fingers into your hole, caressing your innermost parts.

“Fuck, Coryo,” you moaned out as your hands gripped onto the short strands of curls that were starting to return after his Peacekeeper days. Stretching you out even further, he entered another finger – curling it to reach a spot that you’d never been able to find yourself.

He suckled on your clit as he pumped faster, and you grew closer to your own climax. Squelching noises bounced around the room as your arousal pooled around his fingers – so, so, so close to a release.

“Please, Coryo. I’m going to –“ Before you could even finish the sentence, he withdrew his fingers from your heat.

“What the fuck.” You growled out, furious at the loss of your orgasm. But you couldn’t stay mad. Not when he was currently licking his fingers clean, eyes filled with pure bliss. Already, you could feel yourself growing wetter at the sight.

Popping his fingers out of his mouth, he rose to cage you onto the bed. He looked down on you as his arms were planted firmly on either side of you. He tilted his head, seemingly pleased by your struggles.

“Oh, love. Did you think I was going to let you come anywhere but on my cock?” He brought his head down close to your head, licking a stripe up from the base of your neck to the lobe of your ear. You shivered in delight.

“No, my dear. I’ve waited far too long for this to let that beautiful moment go to waste.” He spoke softly to you. “Though, while I do sit with the anticipation of how your release may taste on my tongue, I have the whole night for that. Along with the rest of our lives.”

Coryo softly caressed your face as a moment of vulnerability passed over his face, perhaps one of the rare times you would truly see the boy you fell in love with.

“She was never you.” He whispered.

And you melted. Tears started to well in your eyes at the sweet confession. While you were still upset at heart that he had ever chosen that whore Lucy Gray to begin with, you could live with the fact that he was here now. That he had chosen you now. And over your cold, dead body would you ever let him go.

Shifting your hands to hold the back of his head, you brought his lips down onto your own. Slowing down for just this moment, you tried to convey all your feelings for him in the movement of your mouth. And Coryo sighed into you.

He wasn’t a good man – you both knew this. He was controlling and obsessive and possessive, but he was yours. You weren’t that great of a woman either if you were being honest. Jealousy boiled deep in your veins alongside a pot of anger that constantly threatened to spill over your “kind” persona, but you were his.

In those tangled weaves of fate, you had both found each other, knotted up at the center. No person could come between that, and God help whoever tried.

Shifting your mouth so that he could more aggressively push himself onto you, you said goodbye to the tender intimacy and relished in the way he roughly handled you.

He continued to play with your swollen clit, readying your virgin cunt for his length. Oh, how he was enlivened at the fact that he would be the first, and only, man to sink his cock into your heat. This would bond the two of you even further than you already were, marking you as his forever.

Slipping off the undergarment that he still wore, you and he were now fully bare to each other – like the Greek sculptures of old. Lovers before the fall. Viewed as soft and malleable, but in truth were filled with the hardness of their years – ready to find solace in the only other being that could see them as they truly were.

Taking his cock in his hand, Coryo began to rub his cock up and down your wet pussy. You moaned each time he swiped over your pearl and even more so when he put a bit of pressure on your tight hole.

“Fuck, Coryo.” You cried. “Just put it in already. Please. I need to fucking feel you.”

Your sweet begging was like music to his ears, and the cut of his restraint. Wasting no more time, he slowly started inching his way into you. Grunting, he rocked himself into you as you grimaced from the pain.

“Shit.” He moaned out. “You’re so fucking tight. Just relax for me, hmm, love? You’re doing so well. My good little girl.”

His praises went right to your core as your body began to open up more for him. Sinking yourself further into the mattress, he took one more thrust to fill you up completely.

Looking at you with only a sliver of blue around his blackened pupil, he groaned low and deep from the back of his throat after being fully sheathed in you. You, on the other hand, were still adjusting to the intrusion, but soon the pain subsided and all you wanted him to do was move.

“I’m okay, love.” You whined, giving him the go-ahead to finally start rocking his hips against yours.

Ever so slowly, he ran his length in your heat, getting you both accustomed to the feeling – addicting yourselves to it, more like. And with every thrust, he began to lose that self-control once more, pushing harder and deeper into you.

“God, Y/N. You’re sucking me right in.” He clenched his jaw at the pleasure coursing through him as you moved your hands up to grip his shoulders, digging your nails into him.

All you could feel was him. In you. Around you. His smell flowed into your nostrils as sweat and sex filled the air around you. And you couldn’t get enough.

“Coryo. Coryo. Coryo.” Your brain was turning to mush the more you could feel him rib against your walls. His name a prayer on your tongue and his body a temple as you worshipped both and all.

“Fuck.” He grabbed onto the back of your knees to lift your legs above his shoulders. Switching angles, he could reach even more of you as he pounded you into the bed. Squealing from the stimulation and pure pleasure, you held onto the sheets in a vice, trying not to spiral away.

“Look at this pretty fucking cunt. All mine.” He started rambling as he became drunk on your pussy. “I’ll fucking kill anyone who tries to– fuck. Who even looks at you. I’ll fucking send them right to Gaul’s fucking mutations and watch as they die. Shit. I’ll fuck you right next to their corpse. Have them drown in their blood and our cum.”

His thrusts became more rapid as your cunt squeezed around him from his words. You couldn’t help the whines and moans as you thrashed your head back and forth.

“Hmph.” He grunted. “Like that, huh? Good. My dark little seductress. My perfect rose. Mine.” He thrusted into you.

“Mine.” Thrust.

“Mine.” Harder.

“Mine.” Deeper.

“God, yes.” You cried. “All yours! Please, please, please.”

Your words started to become unintelligent after you continued to search for your high. Coryo, noticing your state, began to play with your clit once more. Aching for you to cum all over his cock.

His own eyes rolled to the back of his head as he got closer and closer to his own release. With a foggy head, he quickly pulled out before immediately flipping you onto your stomach as you huffed out a disapproving whine. Filling you back up, however, had you right back to your drunken state.

“That bitch from 12 could never compare to you.” His tongue loosened confessions as he kept ramming his hips into your ass. “Fucking– fuck. Only used her so she would win. So I could– shit. Could go with you to University.”

You were barely comprehending his words at this point. Moaning obscenities into the sheets below you, you let him ramble without complaint.

“Make sure you didn’t try to find someone else there. No one– fucking damn it. No one else can have you. Gonna fuck you full of my cum and make sure everyone knows that.”

He felt you groan into the sheets again in pleasure. Gripping your hair, he pushed you further down as your back arched higher into the air. Keeping one knee on the bed, he bent the other to reach as deep as he could to fill you up.

“Coryo.” You drawled out in a lust-filled, husky voice.

“I know, love. I know.” He felt you starting to twitch as your orgasm neared. “Never gonna let you go. Never gonna let you leave me.”

“Fuck!” You gasped into the sheets as you felt that coil tighten in your lower stomach. Tingles shot from your toes to your head as you waited for it to snap.

“Coryo!” you whined once more. “Please, I’m gonna come. Wanna come on your cock so bad. Let me come, please!”

Grunting, he reached around your torso to find your clit. Wrapping himself around you, he began twisting and rubbing on your pearl, making your release come faster and faster until –

“Come on my fucking cock, Y/N. Come on pretty girl.” And through his words and actions, that wave finally crashed as you moaned his name loudly into the bed. Legs shaking slightly, you kept rocking your hips back to meet his, riding out the best orgasm you’d ever felt.

You could tell Coryo was getting close too, by the way his thrusts got sloppier and paced quicker. He kept groaning your name under his breath wanting nothing more than to fill you with his seed.

Leaning his head down on your shoulders, he bit hard into your soft skin, marking his territory. You whined into the sheets as you could feel another wave coming toward you. Feeling you constricting around him had him suckling on the skin all over your neck – making sure there would be no doubts about who you belonged to.

“Fuck, Coryo.” You said as that coil began to tighten once more. “I want you to come in me. Want to– hmph. Want to drip with your seed.”

Growling right by your ear, he pushed even deeper into you, as the both of you chased your highs.

“Gonna get you pregnant with my kids.” Closer the two of you were getting, that beautiful high right in sight. “See your stomach swell with my babes. Over and over again.”

You both moaned out, so close.

All it took was one more deep thrust until Coryo painted your walls white as the driven snow. Your own release followed shortly behind as your body began to slump from exhaustion.

Coryo was entranced by the ring of both of your cum around his cock, slowly rocking it back into you to make sure it took. He will have you with him when he rules Panem. He will have you carry his children and be there to take care of him, as he would you. And he will never let you go.

Both of you falling into a mess of limbs on your bed, you couldn’t help but admire the man who lay next to you, wanting nothing more than for every day to be with him. An adoring smile graced your face as you traced his features.

He watched you with curiosity, before pulling you in by your waist to be even closer to him. You snuggled into his chest as his strong arms wrapped around you, sighing contently. Ever so slowly, your eyes began to droop, heavy with sleep. But, before you surrendered to your slumber, you whispered out to Coryo.

“I love you.” And you fell asleep.

His eyes widened slightly with fear. He feared for not only your feelings for him but his feelings for you. He never truly loved Lucy Gray, but you. You were always the holder of his heart, and he knew that was dangerous in the games he would yet have to play.

But he was a selfish man. He wouldn’t be letting you go, and he wouldn’t let anyone else get their hands on you – lover or enemy. He would keep you close, always in his sight, always safe. And really, what did he have to worry about?

“I love you too,” he whispered to your sleeping form.

Everything would work out for you two, he would make sure of it.

Besides, he thought to himself,

Snow always lands on top.

#coriolanus snow x reader #coryo snow #coriolanus snow #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #fem reader #coryo snow x reader #coriolanus snow smut #hunger games #reader insert #smut

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icyg4l · 10 months ago

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PAC: What Would Happen If You Had a Friend Like You?

Hello beautiful people! I thank you guys so much for the support I’ve received over the past couple of months and even this past weekend. I will continue to make content that resonates with my collective. I am delivering my new PAC as promised, even though it was supposed to come out last night (oopsie lol). Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoy this one. It is inspired by tears and frustration of those who feel taken for granted in their friendships (including myself). Please don’t hesitate to book a reading with me if you would like to receive a personal reading. Without further ado, please select your pile.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile One: If you had a friend like you, PIle One, I think that you would meet them while working/interning for a company. I think that this person would be the fresh air to the heavy atmosphere surrounding y’all. I see that you are both sophisticated professionals who know how to handle conflict calmly for the most part. It’s hard for you both to “pop off” and this may be a problem within you guys’ friendship. You both must learn how to be okay with not letting things go off the hook. You must be intentional with the way you navigate or you will be screwed over every time. I feel that if you had a friend like you, you would be very suspicious of this person because you can’t put a finger on why you feel this way. This person will be equally suspicious. But once you actually talk to each other, you will share stories and experiences regarding business ideas, your dream career environments, many of you will bond over being the only women at work and even sharing secrets about your family dynamics. I could see that you will run a business with this person and it will be successful. It may take a while to hit this bump but it’s definitely possible. Lastly, beware of oversharing too soon or jumping to conclusions. Take it slow, babe. There will be slip ups between the both of you but it’s best that you become strict with yourself on what it means to have a healthy friendship.

Cards Used: Queen of Cups, The Chariot, The Emperor, The Tower (RX), 9 of Wands, 6 of Swords

extras: nipsey hussle. “motivate” saweetie. moldavite. overbite.

Pile Two: It’s very interesting how your story will play out, Pile Two. It’ll be a story to tell your grandchildren. So what I am getting from your pile is that you will meet your other half during a breakup. But the thing is, this person will partially be the reason for your breakup. I see the scenario of women getting played by a guy. The movie ‘John Tucker Must Die’ comes to mind. Also, the storyline between Teddy, Spencer and Skylar from Good Luck Charlie comes to mind. You guys will find comfort in each other during this painful period. Many people would stay away from “the other woman”, but you won’t because your situation is unique. I feel like if you are dealing with someone right now, they have two sides to them. They could have air sign placements. I feel like when you come face-to-face with this person, you will not feel any sort of anger or resentment towards them. You will cry in this person’s arms and immediately feel at home. But you should know that once you feel that you want to move on from this, the bond that once existed will change and this change will more than likely not be taken lightly. So enjoy your time with this person for the moment being, Pile Two. Have conversations with this person about how the dynamic will change overtime to prepare for it.

Cards Used:The World, 3 of Swords, Two of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, King of Cups (RX)

extras: igbo tribe. medulla. voguing practice. thelma and louise. grief counseling. hideous bangs.

Pile Three: I feel like this group is into music. You may want to move to one of the music capitals like Atlanta, Nashville, New York or Miami to pursue a music career. In my third eye, I am seeing snippets of the pilot episode of ‘Star’. The premise of the show is the formation, trials and tribulations of a girl group. There are two sisters and a best friend that are in this girl group. During the pilot, the blonde sister has to physically fight her sister’s abuser to bring her to Atlanta so that they can move to Atlanta with their aunt. After this, they are proactive in jumpstarting their career even with drama, drugs and whatnot clouding their future. Now, I feel like your friend will obviously be a newcomer in the music industry as well. It is best if y’all work together. I see that if this person has a kid, you will be the child’s godparent. I also see some notoriety, fame and recognition coming with this person once you all decide to work together. This will only happen because y’all collaborated; if y’all went solo, the same result would not happen. But you need to be aware of doing things in vain. You and them both need to think about each other because the spotlight can blind people’s true intentions. Think clearly. But I feel like y’all would actually be friends for a long time despite any differences that may occur because of vanity. There’s chemistry that y’all have with each other that you will not have with anyone else so cherish each other while you all are still here.

Cards Used: 10 of Cups, Four of Discs (RX), The Star, The Empress, 8 of Cups, 6 of Wands, King of Wands

extras: girl groups. ‘musically inclined.’ music industry. tlc. money grab. “cut the check.” “ain’t shit sweet.”

Pile Four: And last but not least, Pile Four. Your situation will involve meeting someone who is also addicted to something. You have their vices so do they. I am channeling the energy of Edward Norton and Maria Singer. They are liars. They show up at AA meetings for fun and catch each other in a lie. I feel like this friendship will be about holding each other accountable. I am also channeling Rue and her sponsor, Ali. They have an uncle-niece relationship. I believe that you all will have a significant difference in maturity. And this will be the reason why you bump heads. Someone believes that they know more than the other person because they’ve been doing it longer or they don’t believe that their vice is worthy of being taken seriously. Now, this vice could be drugs, sex, over/undereating, online shopping, gambling, playing video games, etc. Now, when you meet this person, you will be put off because you won’t know any better. But this person will leave a strong impact on your life. It is best that you keep them around because you won’t know what you got till it’s gone. Taking this person for granted will be the worst thing that you can do because there is no one else that will hold you accountable like them, Pile Four.

Cards Used: 9 of Discs, Princess of Cups, Temperance, 6 of Wands, The High Priestess, The Hermit, 9 of Wands

extras: low fade haircut. burning hair. electric slide. goal chaser. fear of death. close call. chewing ice.

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woeswrites · 10 months ago

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Yandere Hannibal Lecter

Warnings: Alluding towards torture, Yandere themes, Obsessive behaviors,

Notes: Hannibal's done! A fic idea I had shortened down into whatever this is lol

Hannibal sure loved his dinner parties

Needless to say the community did too

To satiate the numerous requests for more he'd decided it was time to out-do himself yet again

A gathering to celebrate summer solstice would do

He'd spend a considerable amount of time in preparation

Handwritten invitations

A completely unique menu

And last but certainly not least, the gathering of ingredients

As he finished off the last of the swine he could already see his vision coming together

'The day of' quickly approached

Hours he spent slaving away in the kitchen

Finally he'd be able to enjoy himself and entertain his guests

He'd meticulously picked out his visitors for this event

You were very much not among those he'd selected

His eyes trained against your figure

A simple glance and nothing would have been amiss

But Hannibal was not the average onlooker

One by one he picked up on curiosities about you

Your darting eyes scoping out the place

Your suit, new but definitely not costly enough to fit in with the rest of the crowd

And one last thing, that fancy watch of yours

Hannibal excused himself from the clique who had entrapped him with their formalities

A few quick greetings here and there and he was by your side

"Forgive me, but I cannot seem to remember your name. All the party planning must be clouding my memory."

You were quite surprised at the host's appearance

Its not like you were in a group of people

On the contrary, you were alone, on the outskirts of the room

"No need to ask forgiveness. This is actually our first time meeting. Y/n-- Monroe's plus one. It's nice to meet you."

Hannibal gracefully accepted your handshake

He didn't feel the need to mention that he'd already encountered Monroe and his companion that night

That would ruin the fun

He'd strike up a conversation, all the basics (weather, occupation, etc.)

It was safe to say Hannibal didn't believe the accountant lie

He felt your callouses earlier, those were hands of labor

But, yet again, that was something he kept to himself for the time being

By the time you started looking a little antsy someone was calling for Hannibal

"Hostly duties. I hope to catch you again before the party's over Mr. L/n. Do try some of the horderves, I hear the chef's fantastic."

As soon as you escaped the interaction you were back at it

Scanning the various rooms for anything light enough that was worth taking

Elite parties like this were like taking candy from a baby

It's not like these millionaires would notice a few pieces of jewelry missing anyways

Especially not while they were off getting drunk with their friends

Hey, even if they did

You'd soon be gone without a trace

Or at least you thought so

While everyone else was mingling downstairs you'd managed to worm your way into the master bedroom

Luckily you'd brought a pretty bulky satchel with you

Everything and anything that looked valuable was slipped inside the bag

While questioning whether or not the gold candle holders were worth the space they'd take up you heard something

Footsteps

The function was still thriving downstairs (as evident from all the chatter and music)

Perhaps a random partygoer felt the urge to explorex

You weren't too worried about it before they started sounding closer

And closer

It was evident they were heading your way

It was too late to hide

They were practically already here

You quickly clasped your satchel together again before the man fully stood before you

"Well look at what we have here."

"Hannibal! You're just the man I had wanted to see. I have completely gotten lost. Where's your bathroom?"

Your sheepish smile did nothing to convince the man in front of you

Instead he'd locked the door behind him

"If you're trying to be secretive about your motives, maybe you should be careful about wearing your spoils before you've fully left the scene of the crime."

Hannibal points at the watch on your wrist

You might have been wearing it but it was definitely his

You tried to rectify your actions

You clearly had never been caught before

All of the goods were thrown onto the ground

You backed away, begging him to forgive you for you actions

"You know, I really hate the rude. I don't know what more ill-mannered than stealing."

Hannibal approached slowly, rolling up his sleeves

You tried backing away but couldn't get too far

"I'm sorry-- I'm so so sorry!"

"No you aren't. But you will be."

Just like that you were out

It took a second for you to realize you were awake again, your vision obscured by some sort of cloth

Hannibal would eventually reveal your surroundings

You were in his basement, a sight not many were privy to

It probably had something to do with the meats hanging down there

You had to fight the bile that rose up your throat

Hannibal grabbed you by the chin, forcing you to look at him

"We're gonna shape you into a good boy. No matter how long it takes."

He wheeled a cart over to you, the tools a little too fuzzy for you to make out with how bad your head hurt

"Don't look so scared. A little cooperation and maybe this won't hurt so bad Mylimasis."

He'd break you down over time

There was no other option

#he/him #male reader #Hannibal Lecter x male reader #hannibal lecter x reader #yandere hannibal #yandere hannibal lecter #possessive love #NBC Hannibal #yandere NBC hannibal #hannibal #hannibal lecter

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theitgirlnetwork · 3 months ago

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Earn It

Ch. 9: Pretty Tired of Talking About Tennis

Note: Well...I'm back. And I have several things to say in this author's note. A.) sorry, it should've been sooner. B.) I can't wait to get back into the swing of this story. Most importantly, C.) thank you so much for the continued love you've shown it. As those who have seen the movie know, we're quite literally still in the beginning. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and the ones to come. Please remember these characters are all meant to be flawed but none completely evil as you read. They will be toxic and make mistakes. Our good friend Patrick is distinctly missing in this one, but don't worry, his absence is not permanent. Anyways, I love interacting with you all so feel free to send me messages, things in my inbox, and comment. And to those who would like to know who's children those are...well...what do you guys think? I'd love to hear thoughts and guesses. If this sucks let's chalk it up to me being rusty and I'll try to do better next time lol. Love y'all <3

Warnings: Mention of sexual content, strong language, themes of cheating (MDNI)

Taglist (This shit normally doesn't work for me): @spookystitchery@anehkael@fkaams@butterflyybabe@sun2flower @holierthancunt @silkenthusiasts @wolflover384 @liziihorta @summerssover @jackierose902109

“This is some bullshit. Now, they don’t wanna sing.” Heaven shakes her head, flexing her toes against Tashi’s leg on the other side of the couch. “That’s so stupid.”

“They need to get rid of those other two girls, clearly, Chanel and Galleria want it more.” Tashi shrugs, swatting Heaven’s foot away, rolling her eyes when she feels the girl drop them right back into her lap. “I’m Galleria, you’re Chanel.”

“Um, I’m definitely Galleria, what the fuck are you even saying?”

“Nope,” Tashi says, popping the ‘p’ and reaching across the coffee table to take a sip of her drink, cringing at the bitter taste of alcohol on her tongue. “Okay, this is fucking nasty, we probably should’ve looked up what the fuck we were making.”

“Mm. And have my mom find out we drank when she goes through my computer? Girl.” Heaven shifts in her seat, moving to sit criss-crossed and face Tashi on the couch. “Cheers.” She grins, pushing her mug against Tashi’s, smiling even harder when the taller girl mirrors her position and makes a little ‘tink’ sound as the glasses collide. “You wouldn’t even like having two other girls that hang out with us all the time.”

Tashi’s brows furrow disbelief clear on her face at the accusation. “Me? Why?”

“You’re possessive.”

“I’m not possessive, you just pick dickheads to fuck with.”

“Oh yeah? And your type is better?” Heaven snorts, leaning to the side, reaching over to the coffee table digging through the makeup bag of nail polishes Tashi had presented her with when they’d started setting up for their little movie night. Heaven produces a sage green polish from the bag, waving the bottle for Tashi’s approval. “Caleb was the cream of the crop then?”

Tashi shrugs, reaching into Heaven’s lap and selecting the baby blue the dancer had selected for herself. “Better than Chance. Try to stay in the lines this time?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Heaven mumbles, a smile on her face as she takes Tashi’s hand, hunching over, breaking her generally perfect posture to focus in on her friend’s delicate nails. Tashi sits back and watches as Heaven tilts her head in concentration, biting down lightly on her bottom lip as she glides the brush across her fingernails, the cool polish setting in as Heaven lightly blows on each nail as she goes. “Chance was the fucking worst.”

“Yeah and he hated me.”

“All of your boyfriends always hate me.” Heaven hums. “Wonder why that is.”

Tashi smiles, turning her face away for a second, giving herself a break from the thrumming feeling looking at Heaven gives her and watching the scene playing out on tv. It was something of a mutiny. Dorinda and Aqua, talking shit about Galleria to Chanel. Calling her a diva and demanding that her best friend do something. Chanel knowing her friend had gone too far, done too much and loving her anyway. Because their dreams were too important. Their friendship took precedent. “Probably because they know you’re obsessed with me. Look at you, working so hard to paint my nails and make me all pretty.”

“You’re the one who picked out my favorite color.” Heaven purses her lips, closing the polish and placing it back into the bag, holding out Tashi’s hand to admire her own work. “They’re just jealous because I;m a better boyfriend to you than they are. No one meets your expectations like I do.”

“Yeah?” Tashi challenges, quirking an eyebrow, her own twin grin matching Heaven’s. “You think you impress me?” Locked in a stalemate, both girls are unflinching, both daring the other to look away, to fold first. That’s how it starts. Their staring contest had begun as a battle of wills. The smell of popcorn and nail polish in the air. The distant noise of the ‘All Around the World’ song from Cheetah Girls playing on the television. The dark hallways leading to the living room threaten to suddenly reveal Heaven’s stepfather or worse mother to discover them and burst their bubble. But what was more pressing was the energy between the two girls. It was nothing they hadn’t felt before. After a heated match, as they rush together to celebrate another victory for Tashi, Heaven’s voice hoarse from how loudly she’d screamed from her. After each show, or recital, when Heaven is still doused in show makeup and glitter, and Tashi can’t help but see a shining star when she’s looking her in the face. But this time, Tashi did something different. Something only Heaven has ever been able to draw out of her in her 16 years of living.

She concedes.

“Hev, you’re really pretty. Obviously,” she pulls Heaven’s hand into her own lap, toying with her fingers, without breaking eye contact. Her voice dropping to a whisper. “You know that.”

Heaven can appreciate it. Tashi putting herself out there like this, no matter how small the gesture. She got the point. And it was hard for Tashi, for both of them, to be vulnerable. Heaven had spent the past year wrestling with the feelings she’d developed for her friend. She’d just convinced herself she was satisfied just being her favorite person, even if they weren’t romantic a few months ago. Sure she flirted and joked, but she never thought Tashi would initiate something. There wasn’t anything in the world at that moment that could make her leave her hanging.

“Yeah, but, you’re the only person it really matters to hear it from.” Heaven’s cheeks dimple as she scoots closer, intertwining her fingers with Tashi’s.

Tashi’s brows furrow as she cocks her head back, creating a little more space as Heaven leans in, causing the other girl to roll her eyes. “And?”

“And,” Heaven’s nose wrinkles playfully as she sits up on her knees, breathing softly against Tashi’s lips before connecting them with hers. “You’re really pretty too.”

2019 (California)

Heaven speed walks down the walkway to the larger waiting room she knew Art would be placed in. A splitting stress headache is already forming in the front of her brain as she makes her way past the busy employees running the event, hiding her face from the flashing lights of fans and photographers.

As she rounds the corner she sees Tashi pacing back and forth, running her fingers through her bob and biting her lower lip. She pauses in her steps as she sees Heaven making her way toward her. Clapping her hands together and shrugging she fixes Heaven with a disapproving look. “This should be easy. What the fuck is wrong with him?”

“Why? What happened?”

“He’s just,” Tashi huffs out a breath, shaking her head. “He doesn’t give a fuck. I can’t give a fuck for him, Heaven.”

“M’not asking you to. Stop talking to me like that, you’re not my coach, you’re Art’s.” Heaven snaps the gum in her mouth irritably.

“I am his coach.”

“Then coach him.”

“Arthur is a grown man-” Tashi scoffs, laughing humorously.

“I know.”

“I can’t get him to do anything that he doesn’t want to do.”

“Be patient with him.”

“Interestingly enough, that’s your job, not mine.” Tashi grimaces, leaning down to mumble as a pair of fans walk by waving at them. Heaven offers them her own smile and nod as they pass. Team Donaldson is a unit after all. “Look, I’m doing my part. He needs to do his, or this doesn’t work. Then none of us are happy.” Tashi tilts her head in the direction of the door. “Look, he’s asking for you. If you can get him together, that’s great, if not…”

“He’s fine, Tashi. I’m gonna talk to him. Let me talk to him.” Heaven’s tired. She knows Tashi’s tired and it’s obvious Art is. But this has to work. They’ve worked too hard. All of them have worked too hard to not make it to the finish. Heaven reaches out, grabbing Tashi’s hand and squeezing, her own face softening at the exhausted look on Tashi’s pretty face. “Let me fix it.”

Tashi takes another deep breath, eyes slipping closed briefly before flexing her fingers around Heaven’s, twisting the gold band underneath the accent ring on her finger. “He needs to be ready in 7 minutes. I’m giving you 5.”

“That’s all I need.”

The door clicks open and Art’s eyes trail over from the wall to the doorway.

“Arthur.”

Heaven stands in front of him with her hand on her hip, the other hand wrapped around the knob as the view of a sour Tashi fades from his view as the door closes again, head tilted as if she’s observing him. He shifts under the weight of her gaze, sitting back in the fold out chair, opening his legs and holding out one of his calloused hands he’d just been inspecting. Art holds his breath as she purses her lips, raising a single brow at him as she decides if she feels like bothering with him, if she is mad at him too.

He releases that breath when she rolls her eyes, taking two large steps before standing between his legs, resting her own soft, unbroken hands on his face, soothing the frown on his lips away with each brush of her thumb. She allows him to explore with his own hands the body he’d wished he’d woken up to that morning. Every morning. He runs his palms up and down her strong, dancer’s legs, taking in her sweet scent as he pushes his face against her stomach and his palms squeeze her ass, pulling her closer. A familiar wave of pride washes over him as he feels the difference in fabric between the rest of her tracksuit and the letters painted across the backside that were similarly spelled out across her chest.

DONALDSON

“What the fuck?” She all but whispers, her rose petal lips set into a confused grimace. “You don’t wanna play today?”

“I never said that.” he mumbles against the fabric. Heaven pushes him by his shoulders so that he settles against the back of the chair and leans down so they’re face to face, sighing as Art pushes their foreheads together.

“So, why are you sitting here like someone who doesn’t wanna go play some fucking tennis?” She asks. Big brown eyes scan his somber face, her manicured thumb sweeps across the skin of his cheek. “He’s a fucking nobody, Art.”

“I know that.”

“So what’s the problem?” Heaven squints, brows furrowing, pushing him away again as he rubs his face against hers. She guides him by his chin, forcing him back enough so that can look him in his eyes. “Are you done?”

“Baby-” He starts, only for her to pull him even closer.

“No, seriously. Are you done? Is this all? Let me know now.”

“I never…I never said that, it’s just-” Art stares up into concerned brown eyes and sees his reflection in them. He can't take it. The look. It’s not the stern look of disapproval or disdain. It’s not even annoyance or agitation. It's disappointment. It’s fear. Fear that he’s tapped out. Fear that he is done. He can see that Heaven is petrified of what that would mean. And Art is too. “I dunno, Hev.”

She cups his face then, her warm hands contrasted by the cold ring on her finger, her proximity clouding his judgment and overpowering thoughts of exhaustion and disinterest. Heaven seduces him with the love in her eyes. She climbs fully into his lap then, resting her weight on him as they melt together, tension in his body dissipating with each new place their bodies meet. “I want to help you. Tell me how. Tell me what you need. Tell me what you need me to do, Art, and I’ll do it. What do you want, baby?”

“I want,” He sighs deeply, eyes fluttering shut as he brushes his lips against hers, gripping her waist tighter as they share their air. “I want you to look at me.” His lips capture hers in a heated kiss. Heaven opens her mouth to him, releasing her own sigh as their tongues brush before she tugs his bottom lip into her mouth. A small sound of surprise escapes her as Art steals the gum from her mouth, holding it out of the way in his cheek as he explores her mouth. “Just me.” He murmurs against her lips.

Heaven pulls back at that, pressing one more kiss on his nose, face softening when he leans into the last little piece of affection desperately, before dropping his own kisses on her nose, forehead and jaw, ending with her palm. “I’m always looking at you, superstar.”

It’s almost like fate wanted to remind him that’s not true. That these little moments in time are just a fantasy. Because just like that the room doors were opening and Tashi was power walking her way in. Suddenly, those brown eyes didn’t belong to him anymore. Neither set of them. Instead, there’s a silent conversation happening over his head. A language he couldn’t understand even if it were spoken out loud. He’s cold under the shadows they cast as they discuss him without him. His mind wanders as his eyes trail back over to the picture of a younger, more enthusiastic him that hangs on the waiting room wall.

There’s another knock at the door that catches the trio’s attention, a woman with a headset pokes her head in and offers the blond a wide smile, a fan working the event no doubt, damn near gushing as she holds her clipboard to her chest. “Mr. Donaldson, it’s time.”

“Okay.” Tashi answers for him. The woman is shaken then, acknowledging there are two other people in the room. Two other athletes. There always are, with Art. But he’s the star. In everyone else’s eyes. He’s the one that matters. She nods and leaves the room, scurrying away to her hurry and fulfill whatever other responsibilities, no doubt in interest of finishing in time to see the Art Donaldson play. Heaven doesn’t even wait for them, following the employee out as both Tashi and Art watch her slip from the room to meet them outside. Tashi moves in front of Art, smoothing her hand over his hair as she studies his face. She cups her hand under his mouth glancing down at it expectantly. Breathing out a heavy sigh, Art spits his gum into her open palm, before feeling the other hand hold his other cheek. “Decimate that little bitch.”

Leo Du Marier was a new player. He was the best in his school and eventually made it into the big leagues. Big enough that today, he’d be playing against Art Donaldson today. The kid was fucking shitting his pants. Art Donaldson has basically won, every fucking award a tennis player could win, and was the youngest to do so. All he was missing was the U.S. Open. Du Marier himself had waited in line for an embarrassing amount of time to try and score a pair of Nike x Donaldson sneakers when they’d dropped. The younger player couldn’t decide if he was excited to meet the man he wishes to model his career after or petrified. The man was going to destroy him. Humiliate him. He knows it.

The only thing that gave him some kind of relief was that Art was known to be kind. While the man was admittedly smug, past opponents do speak of the crooked smile and strong handshake that he offers after he drags them through the fucking mud. He’s seen many pictures that the blond man has taken with people just like Du Marier, wrapping his arm around them on one side, but refusing to let go of whatever trophy he’d wrenched out of their hands with the other.

At least he’d kick his ass with a kind smile.

So, when Du Marier’s coach nudges him as they make their way through the player’s tunnel leading to the courts and he sees Art, he stops. He feels larger than life. Not in height, because though he’s pretty tall, it’s not the length of him. It’s the stride. It’s the walk. His gear. It’s pristine, with his name printed on it. His demeanor. It’s not at all what the younger player had expected. It’s cold and unmoving. Nothing like the player he’d seen from the bleachers years ago when he was too young to even enter. Flanking his sides are two beautiful women, walking in unison with him, all of their steps coming off perfectly executed and calculated. Each of them seemingly the exact same distance apart from each other. Du Marier couldn’t help but stare.

And Art felt it. He turns his head, looking at him. Staring. Almost…glaring. It felt like ice in his veins as he watched the celebrity frown at him, not so much as offering a wave as he made his way past. Du Marier unconsciously holds his breath, waiting, pleading for the moment to pass. He thanks his fucking lucky stars as one of the woman’s hand makes its way to Art’s face, diamond ring glittering against her skin as she guides his face forward before they exit the tunnel, waving to the paparazzi.

“Did you see that look? He’s going to destroy me, no?”

“Worry about it later, Leo.”

As Du Marier watches the Art Donaldson, send yet another tennis racket sailing against the wall, sweat dripping down his brow he releases his breath. A smile spreads across his face as some of the crowd cheers for him and even more of them boo him for his win. He was cool with being an underdog success story. Especially against that asshole. He could feel the people in the crowd nearly vibrating with disappointment, as the fan favorite lost another match. He used to be one of them. Rooting for the blond asshole across the net. But now? Well, maybe this is why they say don’t meet your fuckin’ heroes.

He could at least say, to Art’s credit, he didn’t seem to give a fuck about the crowd. As he paced along the court, kicking his chair and swearing under his breath, he only seemed to be looking in one section. To be honest, it’d been the only section he’d bothered looking at the entire match. One might say he’d looked so much that it was what threw him off. Du Marier takes a second to follow Art’s gaze, eyes flicking between the angry tennis player and two empty seats. He couldn’t help but understand why Art was so upset. Leo would be hurt too if his wife and coach left before they even got to matchpoint.

2007 (California: Stanford Campus)

Heaven’s leg jumps as she sits in the spectator seat, watching the ball go back and forth between Tashi and Art twice before it rolls to a stop on Art’s side. She drops her head back in the chair in annoyance as she hears Tashi huff.

“Hit the ball.”

She doesn’t even bother opening her eyes as she hears Tashi serve, a severe lack in the sound of footsteps coming from Art’s side. He’s not even trying. It’s just gonna piss her off. It’s not helping us see what she can do. Heaven groans when she hears the ball hit the fence behind him and sits up with a frown on her face.

“What’re you, scared you’re gonna hurt me?” Tashi growls, gripping her racket. Her brows are furrowed as she glares at the blond man who simply opens his mouth and then closes it, glancing at Heaven as if she was supposed to save him from Tashi’s scrutiny. “Pussy.”

With that, Heaven climbs down from the spectator’s seat, walking irritably over to Art’s side, tugging up her gym shorts and hopping a little from one foot to the other. “Tashi, come on.” She holds her hand out for Art’s racket without sparing him a glance, “move.” she mumbles nudging him out of the way.

Heaven is by no means a tennis player. Recreationally, she could hold her own very well, and she was quick on her feet due to dance, but the real reason she could play decently was because Tashi demanded it. It was for when Tashi was antsy and no one else was unavailable. Or when she was upset and needed to blow off some steam the only way she knew how.

“Actually try to hit the ball.” The taller girl says grumpily, rounding back into position, sitting into a squat.

And she does.

Heaven tries very hard. She respects Tashi, and she knows she’s the better player, so she does her best. And it’s good for a few moments. Until she tries to send her down the line, and her knee gives out, sending her down onto the court.

Art is jumping over the net in a flash trying to get to the girl and help her up. But Heaven just stands behind, twirling the racket in her hand.

“Tashi, get up.”

“I am. I’m good-” she lightly pushes Art’s helping hands away, leg wobbling as she attempts to stand, pushing off of the rough gravel of the court. “I’m good, I’m fine-”

“Hold on.” Art says softly, holding the girl’s arms, sighing as her knee buckles slightly, causing her to stumble. “Maybe we should take a break for today.”

“She’s fine. We need to keep going.” Heaven walks over to the net, taking Art’s outstretched hand as she swings her legs over, oblivious to Tashi's eyes dropping to their hands. “T, you’re good, right?”

“I’m fine.” the taller girl grits her teeth, trying to regain her balance.

“See?”

Art sucks some air between his teeth, running his hand along Heaven’s arm, pulling her a little closer, speaking softly. “Hev, her knee, c’mon.”

Tashi feels her skin crawl as Art and Heaven’s eyes drop to her leg. The fucking pity in Art’s voice. The frustration on Heaven’s face. She was so fucking sick of being injured. Her teammates were bad enough, but Art the fucking tennis player who is hellbent on stealing her girlfriend, and said success junkie girlfriend looking at her the way they were was literally too much to fucking bear. She couldn’t handle him feeling bad for her and Heaven looking at her like she was damaged good. She was already irritable because that loser Patrick had been blowing up her goddamn phone with nothing but excuses. Even after she’d made it clear she never wanted to see him again. Then she misses one recital. One goddamn opener and all of a sudden Heaven was ‘navigating’ a new relationship with Art. They weren’t breaking up, but now there are feelings between the two of them. She can understand the appeal of Art. He’s hot, a good player, successful in his own right. And desperate. A lovesick puppy, hearts damn near appearing in his eyes when the object of his affection is in the room. But he’s here and he’s a constant reminder of what her body is screaming it can’t do anymore. They both are. And her choosing him in Tashi’s face only made the pain worse. “Ignore him. Let’s keep going.”

Her voice sounds stronger in her head than it does out loud, leading her girlfriend to pause. “T, maybe Art’s right and you need a break?”

“Jesus fucking christ, fucking forget it.” she hisses, tossing her head back. “If you don’t want to help me you seriously just go.”

“I’m here to fucking help you!”

“You’re here to fuck Art, which is fine, trust me, I don’t fucking care.” Tashi shrugs, laughing humorlessly.

“Hey, Tashi-” Art starts, standing between them.

“I’m here to help you, Tashi. That’s what I always do, that’s why I’m always here.”

“Well, I don’t need your help right now. I really don’t need to fuck up my other leg.” Tashi finishes, crossing her arms. Heaven’s mouth drops open, eyes watering as she stares at her girlfriend in shock.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I mean was it supposed to be helpful finding out you’re cheating on me with our friend and then watching you fight with our boyfriend right before my match?” Tashi smoothes a hand over her messy ponytail, wetting her lips. “It’s fine, I forgive you. You too, thank you, for rubbing that in my face by the way, friend. I forgive you, for white knighting your way into my girlfriend’s pants and taking the time to let me know right before one of the biggest matches of my college career.”

Heaven’s eyes widen, turning to look between Art and Tashi, bottom lip wobbling as she holds back the tears that threaten to flood her eyes. Tashi rolls her own eyes to the sky, looking away as Art wraps his arm around Heaven, tugging her into a hug, murmuring an apology and stammering explanations into her hair. “Tashi, that’s not how it went, alright? All she ever does is try to think of you, and care about you.”

“Fucking kidding me.” the girl murmurs, limping to the other side of the court. Heaven watches as Tashi picks up a stray ball, bouncing it off of the fence and beginning to practice by herself. She shifts in Art’s arms, looking up at him.

“I’m um, gonna stay with her for a while. Practice with her a bit. Can we…can I talk to you later?”

Blue and brown puppy dog eyes stare into her soul, and involuntary pout forming as Art lets Heaven send him off, chest tight as he feels his own wave of guilt overtake him.

Art is anxious for the next few hours as he waits to hear from Heaven or Tashi. He’d hope they’d talk and call him back. But as day turned to night, he realized that the girls may have genuinely just needed him out of the way to continue peacefully practicing.

He wishes he’d said more. Done more. Heaven and Tashi’s relationship is so complex, it feels like a minefield to navigate. Sometimes they’re friends, sometimes they’re girlfriends, sometimes it’s like they believe they’re the only two people in the world. He couldn’t step in and yell at Tashi, he wouldn’t want to, and even if he did, Heaven wouldn’t tolerate it for a second. He couldn’t bring himself to ask Heaven to leave with him. Partially because part of him wonders if what Tashi was starting to say was right. Did he ruin her life? He, Patrick, and Heaven, were walking out of this mess they made relatively unscathed and Tashi’s dreams were likely ruined. Anyone could look at the proud girl and know she’s devastated. Had her life been better without them in it? Had Heaven’s?

The other reason being he’d feared what he would find out. It was one thing, to gain some confidence and beat Patrick out for something they both wanted. Someone. But his friend was liable to fuck up in some way, to lose the girls and leave room for Art to take his place. But Tashi was nearly flawless. She was so similar and different from Heaven, anyone could see they compliment each other. And Heaven loves her so much. Tashi has years worth of ‘I love you’ from Heaven under her belt. Art had just managed to get two to match his fifty. He didn’t want to know what would happen if he drew a line in the sand, held out his hand for Heaven when Tashi was going in the opposite direction. And so he’s careful. And he waits. He was choosing not to play a game he’s almost certain he would lose.

It’s no shock to him when Heaven texts him at 1:25 in the morning to let him know she’d gone back to UCLA. He’d already packed a bag to take with him and had begun shoving one shoe on his foot, stumbling around the room as his phone vibrated with her message. He would chase her. Art would always chase her if he had to. Even if someone was pulling her away.

But not if she didn’t want it.

No. If Heaven decided she needed space, she didn’t…want him, he’d do what she wanted. Even if it hurts him. She’s worth it.

That’s exactly what he tells himself as he climbs into his twin sized bed, biting down on his own fist, willing himself not to cry when the phone brings him the message he was dreading.

I’ve got to think through some things. I think we need space…we did a bad thing Art.

Well, Tashi did warn him. When it came to Heaven, she’d never really lose.

2019 (California)

“Ouch this is getting to be brutal, you just can’t be missing shots like that.”

Tashi cuts her eyes toward Art, sipping her coffee silently as he meets her eyes, offering her a borderline sarcastic smile.

“And there goes the racket.”

“He was playing really well.”

Tashi leans forward, placing her drink on the table before crossing her arms. “I’m pulling you out of Cincinnati.”

“T-”

“Might as well pull you out of the Open too, if this isn’t gonna be your year then why bother?” she shrugs, kicking her feet back up onto the hotel couch.

“I’m just rusty, it’s a confidence thing.”

“Get your fucking confidence back, I can’t do it for you. Heaven can’t do it for you.”

“No one is asking you to.” He sighs, grabbing his protein shake from the table.

“When you play like that you are.” The door to the suite clicks open and Heaven comes in wearing a gym set, one headphone covering her ear, the other pushed back on her head. Art’s eyes follow her as she pauses, briefly making eye contact with him before leaning over the counter and typing on her phone. “I would fucking kill for a recovery like yours, a child, an old lady, fucking anybody.”

“Okay, jesus.” Heaven calls from behind the couch, making her way over. She leans over the back of the couch, resting her forearms and curling her lip.

Tashi shrugs again, adjusting herself to look at Heaven. “I mean we’re all adults here. Everyone has made decisions, if this is it, if this is all you guys want as your legacy that’s fine. We’ve all made enough money. We can retire, and be rich people, run the foundations.”

“Where are they?”

“In the living room.”

The three adults pause their conversation, all plastering easy looks onto their faces as Aurora comes bounding in, curls still dripping wet from the tub, plopping herself onto the couch between Tashi and Art. Tashi’s mom hovering in the doorway.

“Hi, baby.” Tashi chirps, adjusting the girl’s Doc McStuffins nightgown.

“Can we watch Spiderverse?”

“Of course we can. Course we can, it’s just, we gotta talk about tennis right now.” Tashi pouts, running her hands along the little girl’s hair.

“But you’re always talking about tennis.”

“I know baby,” Tashi sends Art a pointed look, causing him to drag his own eyes over to Heaven. The shorter woman stands behind the couch, rubbing her temples, eyes closed, refusing to look at either of them. “I know.”

“Aurora, baby, I’ll watch with you. That’s like, my favorite movie.” Heaven smiles brightly, the grin not meeting her eyes as she walks around the front of the couch, taking Aurora’s hand in hers. “Besides, I’m getting pretty tired of talking about tennis too.”

Tashi picks up her phone, shaking her head as Art watches Heaven leave with Aurora, the separator for the bedroom closing shut behind them. “She likes it here. Aurora.” She snaps her phone shut. “Heaven doesn’t.”

“We could figure something out. Something more permanent. Or, closer to New York.” Art sighs, a pained expression on his face as he stares past Tashi at the doorway.

“We could. I meant what I said. If this is all you can handle. It ends here.” The blond man swallows, bringing his gaze back to the woman in front of him. He knows it’s not true. It’s not okay if he can’t get them to the finish line. No matter how tired he is. “Or you can keep being a tennis player, which is what you are. What do you want?”

“I can play Cincinnati.”

“No, no you can’t. Not like this. Let me see.” Tashi crosses her legs as she scrolls through her phone, finally finding something she deems reasonable and scooting closer to Art, turning her phone to him. “Phil’s Tire Town, that seems promising.”

Art skims the information on the page and scoffs in disbelief, “That’s a challenger.”

“That, is exactly what you need to get your fuckin’ confidence back. Because in middle of fucking nowhere, Phil’s Tire Town, there will be absolutely nobody on the other side of the net who can shake your fucking confidence. Right?” She doesn’t wait for him to respond before she stands, declaring she was going to make a call to get him a spot.

He feels a wave of embarrassment at the thought of going to butt fuck nowhere to participate in the kind of Challenger he hadn’t participated in since he was 19. He’s fucking humiliated actually. But before the shame can overtake him, he catches sight of the gold band gleaming on his hand that he’d been sure to put back on as soon as his match was over. And any complaints he’d had are suddenly being drowned out by the fear of what would happen if he didn’t finish.

“Tashi.”

“We had a deal, Art. I upheld my end, you uphold yours.”

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